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MOVING + CHANGE

30 Apr

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”– Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay


today’s SUNDAYCHILL read is about change.

tomorrow movers come and we’re moving to wisconsin. this isn’t a surprise to many of you, my friends, because for the last year i’ve spent 80% of my time commuting from texas to wisconsin.  thats a lot of time on a plane. in january, i was home for 4 days total.  

bottomline, we wanted to see if the job i took (which catapulted me in a new direction) would be one that would be a good fit for both ROF and me.

it was.

ive moved my entire life.  here are the places I’ve lived (that I remember): cleveland, boston, grand blanc mi, brookfield wi, naperville, il, cincinnati,oh, chicago (3 different places over 11 years, dallas (7 different places over 14 years), birmingham mi, now madison. 

3 things i love about moving and change:

  • KEEPS YOUR EYES AND MIND FRESH AND AWAKE everything is new.  like everything.  i’m talking about – going to your fridge and pouring a little OJ in the morning – that’s a new experience.  it cleans out your brain from daily habits and gives you an opportunity to build new ones.
  • MASSIVE EXPLORATION TRIPS ROF and i have a blast hitting the road and checking out the sites.  we love finding hidden gems, talkative bartenders and doing new things. 
  • EXPANDING YOUR CIRCLE OF GREATNESS i have some pretty unbelievable friends. i was able to connect with many of them over the past few weeks.  and together ROF and i know some really cool people that we love very much.  that group is going to grow with this move.  hands down, our favorite part about moving to michigan was getting to know my cousin and his family real well.  also getting to know ROFs college friends the holbrooks and my boss ron and kathy better.  when you are on your deathbed it is these friendships you remember, not the power point presentations you put together – right?

so tuesday morning think of us making the commute one last time via two day car trip with pup in tow.  we will miss being close to my mom and our friends but we’ll be a short 2 hour direct flight away.  

Xxoo

BE YOUR UNAPOLOGETICALLY WEIRD SELF

18 Apr

i think you could safely say that i’m obsessed with this book:

hands down, most actionable book i’ve ever read.

i’ll get back to that.

when i was a kid, my brother and sister and i used to have to walk our lab, maggie, out “to the dirt” to do her business.  it involved hooking her leash up and walking through our large backyard to a big empty space with just…dirt.  doing this at night before bed was never fun and we used to argue about who had to do it.  plus, it was a little bit scary.  strange noises and it was dusk or dark out.  i’d throw my ski coat on over my long minny mouse nightgown with the ruffles around the bottom and begrudgingly take my turn.

when maggie and i got to the dirt and she was sniffing around, i would stare up at the sky.  and as a young 8 or 9 year old i would look at the stars and think to myself  i can go as far as you are high in the sky.”  i had this in me that life isn’t something that just happens to me but something i make happen.

i still believe that.  forty-some years later.  there is something that drives me forward.

in reading this book, i discovered that (i think) what i might have in me is two-fold:

a) a God-given ability or drive to serve but not sure what that is yet (itch that hasn’t been scratched)

b) driven to discover what my PEAK PERFORMANCE level is. 

more on that later.  the sub-head to the book is:

the tactics, routines, and habits of billionaires, icons, and world-class performers.

like, why wouldn’t you want to study this?  my favorite part of the book is that it is written simply (even though it is HUGE) by highlighting these habits from tim ferriss’ podcast notes.  which is how i take notes.  so it is easy to quickly glean these tactics.

so in re-reading the section on chris sacca (for the 10th time), i love what he told a graduating class in a commencement speech.  he told them:

“Weirdness is why we adore our friends…gets us hired.  Be your unapologetically weird self.  In fact, being weird may even find you the ultimate happiness.”

damn, that is the truth.  and no one tells you that until you’re older.  you’re in grade school and high school and peer pressure is so huge.  you want the same brand shoes, the fancy purse or the house in the hills. because that is what everyone else has.  i remember those days of fitting in being the most important thing ever.

flash forward to now.  i don’t like my closest friends because of that stuff.  i like them because they ADD something to my life or teach me something or they show me how to think differently.   maybe they have experiences that are different from me.  weirdness.

i was super inspired by reading this.  chris sacca is an early stage investor in dozens of companies including twitter, uber, instagram, kickstarter and more.  he is a recurring guest shark on shark tank.

weird is what makes you…well…you.  and while i’ll be honest, fitting in was always very important to me (validation?) but that little girl in her micky mouse nightgown with her ski coat wrapped around her shivering out at “the dirt” looking at the stars knew something too.

weird, isn’t it?

 

what’s up wit me?

5 Nov

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hi.

it’s been so long since i’ve posted anything of true substance i bet you’ve gone away.  come back, cuz i’m back!  i started a new position on january 1st this year and have been heavily consumed with it.  i’ve decided to re-energize and focus this personal blog because it’s so much fun to write.

my life has changed a great deal over the past 10 months and i’m thankful to say for the better.  actually, better isn’t the right word.  i’ve always liked where i was but i guess the direction i’ve been going has just been right and built on top of what i’ve had before.

does that make sense?  saying “better” implies before wasn’t great.  which isn’t the case.

moving on… (geez)

in any case i’m happy.  real happy.  happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect.  i hate the word perfect because perfect =  boring.  it means you’re done – poof- it’s perfect.  perfect can be a napkin that you fold into a duck for a dinner party like – now that’s a perfect duck – but not applicable to your life.

being happy means that i’m recognizing and basking in the fact that i’m:

  • surrounded by great people. people that make me laugh, challenge me to be better, love me and want to call me early on a saturday morning to talk.  people that are thoughtful towards me by doing things like filling my car with gas or dropping a postcard from their travels in the mail to me.  people that appreciate the ideas and thoughts i bring and the work i do.  people that inspire me  – to practice yoga, to write and create.  people that are just damn cool – they get promoted, start a business, entertain effortlessly and are great at what they do.  these people do things with their lives that egg me on – run marathons, throw a charity event, throw a martini party, buy a new house and are just plain inspirational.
  • loved deeply and love wholeheartedly. i’m so glad i waited 39 years to get married.  my dad told me since i was way young to never settle.  he was talking about getting married – because he knew several men through work and the years that got divorced and the woman didn’t know what to do. he swore he would tell me “how men really were”  which he didn’t (what does that mean anyhow) but nonetheless i waited until i knew i wasn’t settling.  and i got a winner! 
  • loving my career and the direction it’s taken.  i did the same thing for 24 years.  worked my way from an intern at JTC Advertising on wells street in chicago to soon-to-be partner in a marketing venture that starts january 1 complete with 24 clients ready to go.  this shit is real!  what has driven me throughout my career is my love of marketing, being relevant to consumers and working with excellent clients that aren’t afraid to pave new roads with me.  i’m so passionate and driven about what i do that it makes every day fun to be alive.  i know.  i’m super cheesy.  shut up.
  • having fucking fun!  yep, just dropped the f bomb because it’s my damn blog.  i travel in one of the most beautiful places on earth, meet up with ROF in detroit to visit great friends, madison to visit great friends, chicago to visit great friends, florida to visit great family, atlanta to see great family.   as most of you know, we don’t have kids and guess what?  at 40 something years old – ROF and i are having the time of our lives.  we play cards (i’m winning…), get room service at fancy hotels, enjoy each other’s company without watching TV (unless we’re binge watching breaking bad), go to football games and cabins up north and the hill country down south.  we made salsa in santa fe and learned about wine in paris.  we laughed at a cramped comedy club in new york and played gin in toronto.

i felt like writing all this down because i know that happy will change as we get older.  i know that unhappy times are near.  and hopefully i am equipped to handle those times.  i can think this way for many reasons – first off – i always have.   second off – i had the experience of watching someone i loved die.  not a lot of people can say that.  make shit happen… today!  it’s getting your head around the fact that every second of every day you have a choice.

and people close to me know that i say this all. the. time. 

you have a choice to:

love where you are RIGHT NOW, not where you want to be

leave your shitty job

do something fun

kick needy people out of your life

decide you need boundaries that protect you

go on a dating site

say – THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR ME.  I’M OUTA HERE

wake up and be productive

wow. this is really a lot for a saturday morning.  (sigh)  look forward

 

make it happen today

10 Aug


MOST PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO DOWN SHIFT THEIR FOCUS AND DRIVE ON A WEDNESDAY – YOU BETTER HUSTLE.

GET AT IT

YOU ARENT EVEN CLOSE TO WHERE YOU WANT TO BE YET.  STRIVING AND DRIVING IS WHAT KEEPS US PRODUCING.


have a great day!


JUST WAIT. IT ALL GETS BETTER. I KNOW.

5 Aug

i grew up in the midwest.  in ohio, michigan, Illinois and wisconsin.  in fact, I went to three different high schools in three different states.  


and i’m not sure how to describe it, but it just feels like home in the air whenever I land up here. the smell in the air, the beautiful scenery and it seems like my body instantly recognizes the familiarity or connection.  last week we were in michigan and this weekend we are in upper wisconsin.  yep, it is 60 degrees right now – jealous my fellow dallasites?


i straddle living “in the south” and working “in the north” and have the unique perspective of getting the best of both worlds.

i love where i am in life. and if I had a child in their 20’s struggling with their career or situation i would have the unique ability to give sage advice. 

i guess that’s called getting old.  

the advice is this. just wait.  life changes.

15 years ago i worked at j walter thompson in chicago and was single.  i worked with clients in wisconsin and traveled the whole state.  i kept a journal and it was filled with pages of loving my life and job but, truthfully, being painfully lonely.  i never thought i would meet someone.

flash forward 15 years.  now, i am on the client side (same client!) and married to my very best friend.  had to go all the way to texas to get him but it was worth it. this weekend I get to show him this beautiful part of the country and smile, thinking about my 30 year old self.  oh what good comes to those who wait!

hustle and hit it in august

1 Aug

thanks gary vee for an inspiring message this morning – the 1st of august. 

Inspirational Gary Vaynerchuk Quotes

Wake up before everybody else and work into the night. Hustle” 

“Skills are cheap. Passion is priceless.” 

“No matter what you do, your job is to tell your story.” 

“Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, what do I want to do everyday for the rest of my life…do that.”

“There’s no reason in 2016, to do shit you hate. NONE.” 

“The truth is that finding happiness in what you do every day is so imperative.” 

“You didn’t grow up driving…you figured it out.” 

“All your ideas may be solid or even good .. But you have to Actually EXECUTE on them for them to matter.” 

“Love your family, work super hard, live your passion.” 

“I’m just always looking forwards. I spend very little time, looking backwards” 

“Effort is grossly underrated.” 

“Live your passion. What does that mean, anyway? It means that when you get up for work every morning, every single morning, you are pumped because you get to talk about or work with or do the thing that interests you the most in the world. You don’t live for vacations because you don’t need a break from what you’re doing—working, playing, and relaxing are one and the same. You don’t even pay attention to how many hours you’re working because to you, it’s not really work. You’re making money, but you’d do whatever it is you’re doing for free.” 

“I put zero weight into anyone’s opinion about me because I know exactly who I am. Can you say the same? When” 

“I failed all my classes and that’s why I’m winning. In hindsight, the fact that I was considered a failure for the first 18 years of my life has become the foundation of my success.”

“Stop focusing on dumb shit. Don’t be afraid to break things. Don’t be romantic. Don’t take the time to breathe. Don’t aim for perfect. And whatever you do, keep moving. Reread this a few times . . .”

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early morning emoji banter

26 May


can’t blame him- my coffee is the best!  Yes this really happened this morning!

favorite instagrammers

8 Apr

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for me, instagram started out to be just an app to run a filter through my photographs.  i didn’t pay attention to the fact that other people could see them.

IMG_1578but that was 6 years ago and now instagram is a tremendous marketing tool.  like they say, a picture says 1000 words!  and people are sooooo creative.  here are just a handful of people i love to follow:

CHRYSTAL PEARL

her instagram is so inspiring.  even though i plan to eat a cinnamon bun as big as my face that ROF got me from bucky’s, i love to stay connected to her.

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PARIS IN FOUR MONTHS

carin olsson has the most beautiful photos of paris.  my heart skips a beat looking at them.  i’d love to go there again.  live there?  in a hot minute!

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OVERHEARDLA

ha.  they just post stuff they overhear at bars and cafes all over LA.  or they take submissions.  pretty funny stuff.

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BONDST

best sushi in the united states of america.  hands down.  if you are ever in NYC – eat here!  but they also have a very creative instagram feed.  i’m drooling.

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100LAYERCAKE

amanda dawson, co-founder and CD of 100 layer cake in los angeles has an awesome feed.  i want to jump right into any of her photos.

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what are your favorite instagram feeds?

on the #road: 3/16/16

16 Mar

snapshot:
rockford, il

COURTYARD BY MARRIOTT

hotel restaurant

seriously – no one here…

except the waitress, who is from Mexico

we bonded because I knew the word

si.

red wine, first and only glass, listening to “baby it’s cold outside” on stereo

christmas in march.

awesome day today on the wide open road visiting kind, smart, cool 

  
clients, well, peers now – not in agencyland anymore.

reading a sassy book, sending friends goofy dubsmash videos and winding down from a day that started at 3am. get to see my husband AND niece + boy tomorrow! 

 #perfect

#grateful

moodboard

13 Mar

i found this awesome site to create moodboards (super) easily.  it’s fun to do and bring your visions to life.  check it out here and see my dream bedroom and office boards below.

dreamy bedroom (2)working from home (4)

3.inspiring things 4 thursday

3 Mar

it’s important to be inspired. being with someone, watching something or remembering kind words is like a glass of cold water on a hot, humid day. they comfort but can also lead the direction to a bigger vision for yourself or for the world.

here are three inspiring videos. watch when you can, you won’t regret it!

and the last one deserves a little dialogue from me.  this video really spoke to me.  i absolutely love how she dug into what she needed to feel complete and then turn it into something that benefits others.  i think about this daily…constantly.

“my own definition of success has become more than anything about freedom to do different things…”

that sounds like such a luxury, doesn’t it?  true freedom?  but the new thinking for me is that i can have that luxury.  i’m not putting kids through school, i’m not saving to pay for weddings.  it doesn’t mean changing lifestyles, it’s about changing mindsets and taking your abilities to a whole new, exciting level.

 

heart attacks + fries

22 Feb

happy new year!

yes, i realize that it’s almost march but i haven’t posted since december.  i got a new job and started it in january and have been running ever since. (new job is awesome, by the way)

right now, i’m on an early morning delta flight out of dfw headed first to minneapolis and then to duluth. the cabin in this small plane smells like freshly brewed coffee and morning breath from the several men around me sleeping with their mouth wide open and head back.  from duluth i will rent a SUV and drive an hour and half to ashland, wisconsin.  otherwise known as God’s country.  look it up on a map.  it may be only 6 degrees up there but i consider it to be a huge perk of my job to experience the beauty which is northern wisconsin. then i turn around and drive back, stay by the airport and am on an early morning flight out of duluth to minneapolis and land back at dfw tomorrow at noon.

living healthy.

so at my age (46) i just realized i could die someday.  as a gen x’er (i’m stereotyping) the thought of dying or coming up on serious health issues could not have been further from my mind.  i was invincible and could smoke as much as i wanted (after all, the kids from my favorite movies did like st. elmos fire and singles.)

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drink wine as much as i wanted like carrie bradshaw in sex and the city and not care about how it affected me and my body.

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now i know.  and it’s a sobering fact of life.  you get old and your body and organs go along for the ride.

my brother who is four years younger than me had a couple massive heart attacks around thanksgiving. they had to shock him 19 times and his heart stopped beating for over 15 minutes.  my brother and i have a very strained and challenging relationship but it has made me sad for him.  it has made me think of me too.  that maybe it isn’t enough for me to just drink my trader joe’s super green powder drink every morning and “try” to walk 30 minutes before slumping back in front of my computer for the rest of the day.  maybe i have to do more and maybe it’s urgent.  maybe i better stop thinking that all there is what makes me happy now and think about the fact that what i do now will make me very happy in the future.

so i’m not a complainer or a whiner, i’m a doer and so i got a physical.  i’m on a plan to lose weight and eat right.  it is not going to be easy.  in fact, i forgot about eating right when i ordered a BLT sandwich and fries at st. pete’s dancing marlin this weekend. i only ate half.

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baby steps.

i also have a cardiologist who is going to run all the tests and wants to see me every 6 months.  she’s awesome.  my mom had her first heart attack at only 49.  and i’m 46.

it’s a journey,right?  that’s what they say.  i hope that i can do this and have encouragement along the way.

happy new year!

december playlist

4 Dec

i’m sorry, i don’t mean to brag, but this may simply be the best playlist to date.  i’m just saying.

i don’t know why all my playlists are named with something having to do with wine.  i think it’s because when you’re sipping wine with friends, you need to have just the right music.  duh.

anyway, i followed some of my favorite djs on spotify and curated this list of eclectic songs that should make you happy.  i’m happy!

i put a song on here that will make my sister think of me.  another one really reminds me of hanging with debbie and jeff cummings in chicago over 20 years ago (can they guess which one?) also, melissa glick will smile at a couple of flashbacks some songs will give her.

what are your plans for the weekend?  we’re going to a fun wine tasting tonight, heading to a dallas best new restaurant saturday with friends we love and chilling, playing cards (i’ll be winning) on sunday.

 

happy friday!

project child save – please read!

6 Oct

i want to announce my friend kelly’s non-profit organization: Quest 4 Recovery.  Quest 4 Recovery supports the recovery of children that have been kidnapped for exploitation purposes.  i’m so impressed with this organization and mission, i can’t even tell you.

wait, yes i can.

before i jump into my interview with kelly and talk about their next benefit, watch even a minute of the documentary that inspired them to start this nonprofit.  in fact, proceeds from their upcoming backyard benefit are going to project child save and ty ritter will be at this event in dallas!  warning:  this video is disturbing.

 

i caught up with kelly and gabby at their first fundraiser at kendra scott in preston center.

1. who is all involved in Quest 4 Recovery?

Gabriela Garcia, Tara Banda and you!

2. why is this a passion of yours?  

While pregnant with my second baby, I watched the A&E documentary on Project Child Save .  It affected me so much that approximately 18 months later, I was still thinking about their organization.  I wanted to help and felt it needed to be more than just me writing a check.  I mentioned it to Gabby and she was just as inspired as I was and we came up with the idea of starting a non-profit.  A charity for charities, if you will.  An organization that supports and champions for all non-profits trying to help kids escape exploitation.

3. what is the mission?

To raise funds and awareness for nonprofits that are helping children escape sexual slavery and exploitation  Whether it’s an organization that assists in physical recovery of a child or helps with emotional repercussions after the rescue.  We can be their advocate.  

4. where do donations go to and is there a goal that you’re aiming for?  

After our costs for a fundraising event are recouped  (I.e. venue rental, food, beverages, etc.) all funds will go back to the non-profit we were highlighting.  

For example, on October 24th, 2015 we are hosting a fundraiser for Ty Ritter’s Project Child Save.  They are a group of ex-military men/women that rescue children from foreign, hostile, and often corrupt territories.  Brazil, Mexico, Guatemala, you name it.  Child pornography and trafficking of children is so profitable that many countries will turn a blind eye if not fully support it, albeit covertly.  These children must be taken back by these brave men and women because they are never going to get out unless someone goes and gets them.  The local law enforcement won’t help and is often in on the operation.  Project Child Save fills in the gap.  If they could buy back a child, they would.  Unfortunately, with the internet you can sell a child a hundred times over with little to no risk and it’s only going to get worse unless there are more organizations like PCS willing to take the risk to save the kids.

5. what has been the most challenging thing so far in starting a charity?  

Just the trial by fire we’re going through now!  We’re four women that are passionate about helping Ty’s group but we aren’t professional fundraisers.  However, neither was Susan G. Komen when she started out.  Passion and commitment is what we have and so far it’s working. Awareness is everything.  It leads to all good things when trying to raise money for the true heroes taking real risks.

for those of you in dallas, please consider coming to an awesome event supporting project child save.  ty ritter is flying in from california, excited to have others supporting his cause of saving kids.  it would mean so much to me, kelly and the team to have you attend.  click here for tickets!

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two tip thursday: lynda + pretty pegs

25 Jun

happy almost-friday day!

i’m still in las Vegas as I’ve been all week attending the promax conference.  i’m fresh into a new job-opportunity and absolutely loving it.  but excited to head home today.  i miss these two faces:

on to the tips.  very random today.

tip #1: lynda.com

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are you familiar with this one? it wouldn’t surprise me to be late to the game on this first tip.  wouldn’t be the first time, friend.  but everyone needs to join and join today.  i don’t care if you think you know everything already, your brain is wired to learn and learn all the time.  too busy?  i call bullsh*t on that.  i get more done between 5am and 7am for myself than any other time of the day.  go to bed early, wake up early and treat your brain.

Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 5.59.44 AM Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 6.00.54 AMthis is what i started watching here at 5am this morning.  outstanding stuff:

Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 6.07.39 AMbut more than stuff like this, you basically can learn anything from the best in their industry.  very technical things like specific photoshop classes to more general business classes.  i’m digging in and digging in deep.

tip #2: peg legs for furniture

in a nutshell, turn furniture (namely ikea furniture!) into your own with these really cool peg legs for furniture.  i first heard of this through on of my favorite blogs: simply grove. 

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she did this with her daughters room.  amazing! who thinks of this stuff?  i don’t know but i’m in awe.  they aren’t affiliated with ikea at all but inspired by customizing some of their furniture.

as an added bonus tip (mainly because i just stumbled on to this myself…) is houzz.com videos.  love this…

two tip thursday: beck + privacy on facebook

18 Jun

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in today’s brief, i’ve got two random tips for you.

one you are going to love and one is a bit controversial so take it or leave it.

tip #1: listen

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beck is my age. which, to me, says that you can get cooler as you get older, not just older.  this is promising.   he is <hands down> the coolest artist i know.  well, i don’t really know him.  personally.  but you know what i mean.

the tip today with beck is to listen to his new song, dreams.  listen to it super loud and get ready to dance.  this is so unlike the music on his last album for which he won album of the year this year – which is – one of the best albums ever.  you can listen here.

the other cool thing about beck is this:

“Feeling like “a total outcast”, Beck dropped out of school after junior high.[13] He later said that although he felt school was important, he felt unsafe there.[10] When he applied to the new performing arts high school downtown, he was rejected.[14] His brother, Channing, took him to post-Beat jazz places in Echo Park and Silver Lake. He hung out at the Los Angeles City College, perusing records, books and old sheet music in its library. He used a fake I.D. to sit in on classes there, and he also befriended a literature instructor and his poet wife.[14] He soon began a stream of menial jobs, including loading trucks and operating a leaf blower.[13]  (excerpt from here)

tip #2: be careful on facebook

as social media becomes more and more ingrained in our daily life and part of just “what we do”,  it’s important to not just mindlessly move through social media.  it’s important (yes, preach it sister!) to pay attention to what is going on.

the red flag i have on social media – namely facebook – is kids photos on there.  it’s just a red flag  – you know one of those things that flies when your subconscious tells you something could be awry.

here’s why i think what i do.  because facial recognition technology is being mastered and built by facebook.  don’t believe me?  read it here in fortune magazine.

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my second tip is to just please read this article and come up with your own pov on it.  as technology grows and collects and is saved – think about what you’re putting out there!

that’s it for today.  over and out!

 

two tip thursday

11 Jun

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hi. i realize i’ve been more absent than usual on the blogging scene.  i changed jobs and am in a whole new industry – moved from advertising agencies to the media world – a media holding company.  my concentration has really been on that.  i’ve also been struggling with revamping this blog… but that’s another post.   this is about two tip thursday.  a new series i’m bound to keep up at least through two thursdays (alas making it a series…)

and they are going to be random tips.  because that is me.  random.  for those of you that know me, you know that i have self-diagnosed ADD and tend to move on in the conversation faster than the other person intended.  therefore making things RANDOM!

here are two things i know that i want to share with you today.

1.  MONICA LEWINSKY KICKS ASS.

wow.  if you haven’t seen this yet, watch it now.  is it odd for me to say i’m so proud of her?

“Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop,” says Monica Lewinsky. In 1998, she says, “I was Patient Zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.” Today, the kind of online public shaming she went through has become constant — and can turn deadly. In a brave talk, she takes a hard look at our online culture of humiliation, and asks for a different way.

2. LISTENING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN JUST BEING POLITE. 

today, try listening more than talking.  i’m just as guilty of this as the next person so this isn’t a “i’m more mighty than thou” tip here.

Others listen only long enough to figure out whether the speaker’s views conform to their own, says Bernard Ferrari, author of “Power Listening” and dean of the Johns Hopkins University Carey Business School, in Baltimore.  Still others interrupt to spout solutions—often before the problem has fully been identified, Dr. Ferrari says.

this article in the wall street journal says: The failure to listen well not only prolongs meetings and discussions but also can hurt relationships and damage careers. However, it is possible to improve your listening skills—first, by becoming aware of the ways you may tune others out.

i learned how to listen from a couple of different sources.  the biggest was becoming a stephen minister ten years ago.  this was intense training on listening to people who are going through huge life changes.  from the death of a loved one to a divorce to a loss in a job.  but the other source was improv.  i talk about that here a little.  but you can’t keep a scene moving unless you are listening.  in fact, you can look super stupid if you don’t listen to your team on stage.  read more about that here in this article.

we all remember that linda wasn’t listening too well, right?  take it from our boy:

this is so very annoying!

19 Feb

have you ever found yourself doing something.. whatever… and that very thing that you’re doing you found very annoying in other people?  (you may have to read that twice to get what i’m saying.)

well, i’m doing that right now.

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i’m on a plane, first class, no less (free upgrade), and have a very nasty cold.  i can’t help it.  who knows i may not even go to the meetings i’m flying to be in, i’m that sick.  i’m dripping, sneezing, sniffling and crumpling up napkins, kleenex and anything that can be used to help soothe my acheing head.  i hate those people.  seriously.  i’m the whisperer that says “why didn’t they just stay at home!?  Why do they want to get us all sick?  how selfish!”

now, that’s me.

just wanted to say that.  that’s it.

– sniffy.

2 reasons to quit boot camp and eat bon bons

8 Nov

i can’t let the last post stay up any longer.  i feel like a fake… a fraud.

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yes, i went to boot camp and yes, i wrote a post about it the day i went.   that’s all true.  but i didn’t go back.  i was in pain for a full five days afterwards.  if my muscles would talk they would have sounded like this!  here i was, all gung ho boot camp girl.  wakin’ up at 4:50am to grab the 5:15am ride with a friend to ‘boot camp’.  i’m all about the image.  that image looked good to me, in my head.  heck, i’ll even write a post about so everyone knows how warrior-like i am.

not.

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so i’m here to finish the image for you – although i’d be more than happy to just keep on keepin on with you thinking i was this boot camp convert.  it’s kinda like looking smoking hot at a party but then posting an instagram photo of you mixing sweet & low in your coffee the next morning.  the real image is that i need to share about my boot camp experience is that i took my fit bit watch off, threw it on my desk, limped and moaned over to the couch in my office and plopped down with my computer and didn’t move all day.

am i a quitter?  maybe.  or maybe i just didn’t find the activity for me.  so here are my 2 reasons to quit boot camp.  (this may be more for me than you, but again, it’s my blog)

1. be realistic about your commitment level

if it isn’t something you can commit to on a regular basis, move on.  boot camp <or insert any activity here> may be for some people and not for others and that is why there’s 31 flavors.  just don’t give up (amy!)  look at the experience as a good trial run, rate it as something you could do often or not.  if the answer is not, keep looking for what your thing is to do.  the important thing is to move.

2. be encouraged, be motivated but don’t be pressured

i’m not talking about pressure from others – i’m talking feeling pressure from yourself.  that ugly voice i spoke about here coming out and telling you negative things.  like YOU COULDN’T HANDLE BOOT CAMP, JIGGLE ARMS!!  if it’s not for you, fist bump yourself for getting a good one hour workout in and move on.

so there, i feel better now that i’ve come clean to you.  has anyone else tried something like this and decided it was not their thing?  i’d love to hear from you.

*photo of apple cider cupcake with nutmeg frosting courtesy of eatrunlive.com

3 reasons to do a boot camp.

29 Oct

not that i’m some expert.  in fact, this morning was my first one.  ever.  so don’t read this like i’m preaching.  i ain’t preaching.  i’m just saying that here are some reasons to do boot camp or something similar.

#1 by showing up, you already started your day with one positive, healthy decision.

truly,  who wants to get up at 5am, leave the house at 5:15am and run around a dark parking lot with a bunch of strangers who may judge you?  not me.  however, i am getting up that early on saturday morning to head out to a flea market to shop on saturday morning.  see what i mean?  you made a good choice just by showing up. mark that off your to-do list, babe.

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#2  you learn quickly what your “inside voice” has to say.

are you an encourager to yourself or a hindrance?  does it say “just take it at your own pace, you got this” or does it say “you’re a fat a**.  no wonder you gained so much weight” why is this a reason to do a boot camp?  because you force this voice to come out (well in your head, anyway, hopefully.)  you can do something about that voice if it’s negative.  if you don’t do something like a boot camp, that negative voice may be in your head influencing your thoughts and you’re not even aware of it.  so if it’s there, now you know, now you can change.

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#3 having other people there is good accountability.

i like getting on my treadmill and pounding out 45 minutes and a couple of miles but it is VERY EASY for me to talk myself out of doing it.  however, if someone is picking you up in the morning (you know who you are…) and you show up and there are other people there too – there is just something that is encouraging in that.  you don’t want to be the person with the excuses like i have when it is just me, myself and i on the treadmill.

i imagine it would be the same if you had a walking or running partner.  built-in accountability.  yea.

so now that i’ve written this blog post it would mean i REALLY need to show up now for my second “boot camp”, right?

losing 75 pounds + what i’ve learned

10 Aug

so far,  i’ve lost a little over 75 pounds.

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that’s a shitload of weight, if i do say so myself.  i’m far from done too and have at least 50 more pounds to go.  i felt like sharing some of the things i’ve learned about myself during this process.

1. boy, do old habits run deep.

i kind of pride myself on remaining relevant.  whatever the hell that means… i guess i never wanted to be one of those people that gets stuck in their way and goes through life on auto-pilot.  and, i’m not.  but this process i’ve been through has taught me how important it is to recognize a negative pattern and revise it.  revising it means evolving your thinking and replacing that habit with something else.

let’s think about that negative habit.  it may not be something your spouse or family think is negative – it may not be “bad” in the world’s eyes – but for YOU and your new vision of yourself, it’s not good.  i’ve needed to lay down the law to myself.  here are some of my bad habits:

* mindless snacking.  i now share an office with my team in a big room because i’ll be commuting from dallas to detroit each week except for two days.  so i gave up my office.  so my team-mates are probably snickering right now because they have witnessed this first hand.  mindless snacking to me is having my hand in a popcorn bag 24/7 because i’m typing and thinking and writing and talking and my hands/brain always have to be doing something.  damnit to hell.  hate that!  because i recognize that, my solution is to drink more water instead and walk more.  i also track all the mindless shoving of snacks in my mouth in myfitnesspal app and punish myself with watching the calories add up.

* exercising. losing over 75 pounds makes exercising a lot easier.  and this is what i’ve learned.  my body WANTS to move.  all the time.  my energy level is so high now that exercise is almost a given.  but my negative habit is deeply, deeply engrained into my head.  and that is “i just don’t exercise”.  never have, never will.  boooorrring.  it was not stressed growing up and i do not stress it to myself.  when i played tennis in high school i used to do everything possible to get out of the sprints and the running.  i used to HIDE IN THE TENNIS CURTAIN!  <confession> so turning around this thinking is really hard.  when you tell yourself something that “you’re just not this or you just don’t do that” it is really debilitating.  so i just do it now.  i tell myself “i am a walker”  and that I love to move.  and i’m starting to believe it!

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2.  all the things they tell you to do on a diet really do work.  

the simple things like drink a lot of water, eat protein, chew small bites, eat slowly, get daily exercise and avoiding processed food.  all that works and works really well.  it took a lot for me to learn that – a lot.  but one way i’ve lost the weight is focusing on these things.

3. forget vanity, life is much better minus the weight. 

life really is that much better now that i’m lighter.  i’m just being honest.  this has nothing to do with trying to fit in because  fitting in, to me, is so easy and extremely boring and un-creative.  <had to get that in>.

but something i’ve learned is that the mean-girl voice in my head has gone away.  you know, that inside voice that said things that kept me down + held me back.  all that conflict is gone.  poof-bam-blitz!  and on top of that, getting dressed for work in the morning is a lot more fun.

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4. just get through it. 

it’s been a long journey, i’m still on it and always will be.  it’s amazing what you can do just by telling yourself to get through it. tomorrow is a new day and i want to be in a new place.  it’s not as simple as it sounds.  but no matter what you’re going through, you’ve got to hope that tomorrow will be different.  so push through, endure + persevere.

thanks for reading!

don’t be afraid of color

16 Jun

are you one of those color-shy folks that likes to stay neutral inside your house for fear of…. fear of… fear of WHAT?  what exactly holds you back from showing a little leg inside your house with a  pop of color?  now more than ever, it’s easy to get away with it.  why?  because things aren’t so matchy-matchy any more.

don’t play life so safe all the time.  in my opinion, the reason why the brownish, taupey, tannish stay around is because women are afraid of being judged and they want to play it safe.

ok, or maybe they just like it!  i’m ok with that.

but i’m not ok if you’d like to step out of the proverbial gray box but don’t.  here are some ideas for you.

 

IDEA #1

Insert one color into your white/beige/tan room.  in this brilliant room from headed somewhere.com they chose a wonderful, deep turquoise to offset the white kitchen.  try just having one color to pop out.  and do it just in replaceable items like a jar, plates, dish clothes.  that way in a year from now (or a month) you want to throw up an orange color – the transformation is easy!

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i do this and my color of choice is orange. my cheapest (kind of and depending on who you ask) idea is to decorate with fruit.  if you visit my house, you may think – damn they eat a lot of fruit!  but really there is no need to think that.  decorating with oranges is my thing.  they last quite a long time and provide just the color i need to make my point.  these pictures below are from my house…

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IDEA #2

another idea for color without going completely insane would be to just paint a wall a color or the floor.

snagged this from erin williamson’s awesome portfolio:

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or check out this attic room floor from mandarina studios – love love love, dahling!

cambridge-residence-20lastly, the colored floors but in a pattern, snagged from here:

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IDEA #3

still not a believer?  i haven’t convinced you to add some color to that room?  here is what color says about you.  it says:

hello.  i’m bold, i’m brazen and i’m not afraid of what you think.

well, you may not be any of those things, but let your room give off the impression that you are.  why not?

so idea #3 of adding color into your house is to get one piece of furniture.  just one… like this: 

 

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or from ehouseport:

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hopefully this gives you some ideas to play with now or in the future!  let me know if you try anything out!

awesome t-shirts

9 Apr

i’m into t-shirts with sayings on them.  i don’t know why.  i just like them.

like these:

6ff5e488788b0a84c1892deb5dfa0bc6 40d3e6f299c8c571b80bc3700175e56f 048be0302c92714bcb9eda2c54af9e3d 66ace70d45f898e4fa15e8b69cec06fc 183fe9a0a8b2bf13d93e68048afd604f b66bd4a3d2e6f9d805d84e3376da9869 d0037597c53b035f9ece91fc52c6c1b1 Screen_Shot_2014-03-19_at_3.29.52_PM_grande

dreamy coffee table books

24 Mar

too busy or broke to travel?

no matter…get a drink and open up one of the stacks of books you have on exotic places on your  coffee table.   here are some fun aspirational books i found on one kings lane.  they aren’t there any more, but you can find these via google. or check out this list of best coffee books of 2013.  as you can see, my favorite are assouline books. 

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pink is the new black + white

15 Mar

pink is a color i’m obsessed with for some reason i have yet to figure out.  

maybe it is the awful weather we’ve had here in detroit.  like, the worst in the country <insert sympathy for me here> but pink just seems to warm everything up and be distinctly girly at the same time – which i like.  here are some pink things i’m digging.  find out details over here at my pinterest page.pink2 pink

if i had signature colors it would be black and white together (not mixed together but… you know what i mean) with a pink accent.

au revoir.

idea + advice for parents

25 Feb

this isn’t going to be that deep.  it’s just an idea + a little advice for you.

adviceidea

this past week, i was driving to work and stuck in rush hour traffic.  i don’t really complain because i like the time by myself.  i typically go through my to-do list for the day and alternately jam out to really good music.  like my spotify disco mix.  good music is subjective, you know.

anyway.

i do this because music lifts my spirits (kind of like this) and takes me out of the mundane go-to-work-time-to-make-the-donuts routine.  it was during this disco jam-out that i thought of my friend at work.  you know who you are.  she used to be quite the disco queen back in the day.  and i was thinking of her while listening to this music.  then my mind shifted to the fact that her daughter just had her first baby – her grandchild  – a girl.  joy of all joys!  my mind then shifted to my very good friend and sister-in-law, susan.  i was talking with her that morning about the blog she did for her kids – which is excellent.  i thought that my friend at work would like the same idea.

now you know how my mind works.  riveting.

i thought that my friend at work should do a blog to her daughter and granddaughter filled with wisdom, family history and laughs, advice, recipes, memories and pictures. this wasn’t my idea, i got it from susan’s blog. here was the advice i gave my friend at work, that if you want to start a blog for your loved one.

< IDEA:  a memory blog>

here is the way to start:

  1. think of a name for your blog. needs to be something personal between your daughter + you.  that makes it fun. 
  2. think of 5 or as many as you want topics to frame your posts.  as mentioned, some ideas are: Recipes + restaurants, sweet memories, to my granddaughter, advice etc… 
  3. if you want, snoop around go to http://en.wordpress.com/  to just explore.  
  4. carry a notebook and jot down ideas for blog articles as they come to you.  i have an app for my iphone called GNEO for this list.  It’s easy.  

lastly, write your first post.  just do it in email or a word document and then copy/paste it into your first blog post. 

Here is some advice. 

  • write exactly how you would talk.  don’t worry how well you write, worry about making sure it just sounds like YOU.
  • write like you’re talking to your daughter.  Don’t write like strangers are reading this – you don’t have to over-explain.  You’re just having a conversation. 
  • start with why you’re writing this blog and what you want to accomplish with it. 
  • don’t need to make it too long.  try to always include pictures.  

that was the idea.

here is the advice:

if you have kids under the age of 16 – get onstar.  get a gm vehicle with onstar or get just the rearview mirror.  if your kids are looking for a great inexpensive car with a ton of value – recommend something like this.   i know you have navigation on your phone – who doesn’t.  but what you don’t have is someone that knows if you get in a car accident, witness a car accident or have an emergency of any kind.  if you’re in an accident, onstar immediately calls for help – you don’t have to do anything.  they will also talk with your kids if you are in trouble – many more.  it is a no brainer to have and, in my mind, not smart to not have.  watch this:

love checklist – use it.

14 Feb

this verse isn’t just for weddings!

use it as a checklist for friends, peers, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses (hate that word, sounds like louse)

happy valentines day!

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this valentines day, love yourself first

11 Feb

this valentine’s day, I offer you a twist on what to think about first.

those of you with loved ones will automatically give cards, treats and smooches. that’s fun for sure.

but this v-day, add something new to the mix.   add spending a few minutes loving who you are.   i know how stupid that sounds but stop laughing for a second.   do YOU love YOU?

Screen Shot 2014-02-11 at 1.22.32 PMwhat that means is do you take care of yourself?  not in the manicure/pedicure way.  it doesn’t mean that you perform your role as wife/husband, mother/daughter, friend/peer perfectly – as we know that is never the objective.  it means… is the voice in your head – the one that talks to you – a positive voice?  does it say things like:

“you nailed that presentation!”

“that’s ok, there will be another opportunity, you did your best!”

“you are exactly where you need to be.”

or is it more like this:

“dumb ass, why’d ya do something like that?”

“i just can’t keep up”

“why’d i say that? i’m so stupid”

the thing with being good to yourself is that if you never learned from your parents, older siblings or a caregiver how to love yourself, you may not even know how.  a big part of being good to yourself is to say I AM ENOUGH.  and it’s being vulnerable enough to admit you’re not perfect.

one of the biggest life-changing things i did was watch this TED video.  i watched the video, i dunno, maybe 10 times.  it’s one of those videos that digs deep into who you are. i actually already wrote about this video here back in 2012.  it breaks open the WHY behind the negative self-talk, which then shows you how to love yourself more.   watch it.  and if you want more info,  you can read the blog, take the class or simply just read the book. 

also, here’s some more inspiration to love yourself on V-Day.  find more here.

Enough1 Enough2

it’s here – the weekend

8 Feb

finally we got outa dodge for the weekend. happy 45th year to robert.

If it wasn’t cold enough in birmingham, mi for us – we headed “up north” for a shopping + snowmobile weekend with some of our favorite people (+ they’re family to boot!)

have a good one!

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intentions vs. actions

2 Feb

happy sunday!  go cowboys!  this is an oldie but a goodie.  and my intentions below have stayed the same and my action has improved.

FLASHBACK POST:

ROF + i are all into watching breaking bad (we’re slow to catch on) and although i think the show jumped the shark a little recently, it’s excellent.

it’s one of several shows out there that gives you a multi-layered look inside people.  a character that has pretty good + decent intentions but has made a decision to take bad actions.  for a tv show – meaning purely for entertainment purposes –  i’ve discovered i like this.  watching these kind of shows, to me, with their multi-dimensional lead was way better than any of the stupid :30 minute sitcoms out there <insert laugh track here.>

Screen Shot 2014-02-02 at 6.52.05 AMtake mr. walter white from breaking bad.  if you haven’t seen the show, i’m not going to ruin anything for you here.  but let’s do a little character assessment, shall we ?

intention:  dying of cancer with little time to live, he has crappy insurance and little savings his intention is to leave his family with plenty of money to for college + living for long after he’s gone

action: he becomes the best crystal meth cook around and a drug dealer in the process

we’re only on season 3, so we don’t know if his actions ever catch up with his intentions.  and don’t ruin it for us.  at first, i thought GO FOR IT, WALT.  he’s dying, he wants to provide for his disabled son, his newborn daughter and his wife, right?  honorable?  yes.  however, the lies he tells and the person he becomes start to overpower his intentions.  i was all GO FOR IT at the start,  but am now thinking that his actions have been way more hurtful than his intentions were decent.

do you have good intentions with something but take bad action?  

let’s look at another character, i was personally obsessed with for at least the first 4 seasons:

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dexter, from dexter.  holy moly was this an outstanding show.  i absolutely hated myself for loving him so much.  

i know that he has a bit of a troubled past.  ok, a real messed up past but:

intention:  rid the miami streets of terrible criminals who perform horrific crimes yet get away when the legal system fails.

action:  yo, he kills them!  eye for an eye.  oh, and he works for the police.

this was a doozy of a dichotomy between good + evil.

was intention winning over action?  who cares what you do as long as…. you meant well.

we’ll check more into that soon.  one more example.

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possibly my first experience with this intention vs. action deal on tv:  tony soprano.

intention:  to get better.  the mob boss that saw a shrink.

action: did bad mob stuff that hurt his family and his health constantly

while tony’s intention isn’t as clear cut as walter or dex’s – but it was enough to add wonderful depth to the character.  and make you pull for him even though he was a bad guy.

so what is the conflict in your life?  real life, i’m talking about now.  

i’ll go first.  remember, we’re not aiming for an emmy here like the above shows.

intention:  to build close, meaningful friendships that are maintained…forever.

action:  i don’t make it a priority to stay in touch.

honesty hurts!  i hated writing that down.  stinks. but step 1 is taking ownership of our actions, right?   at least isn’t that what tony soprano learned?

what about you?

dreaming of the warm sun

1 Feb

i’m not going to complain about how cold it is up here (and everywhere for that matter) but something in me just wants to look at the color yellow.yellowmontage

top left: beautifully bold yet simple room.  i love!  courtesy of a beautiful mess blog click here

top right: i’m a sucker for anything eames.  can’t give credit because i can’t find who shot these pics.

bottom left: way to make a window pop.   amazing how a simple design feature can speak volumes about your personality.  it says, i’m daring, i take risks, i like what i like and don’t care if anyone else likes it. i like you without even meeting you!  link courtesy of design nerd

bottom right:  ikat bowls from west elm.  these are sitting in my virtual shopping cart.  i’m a fan.

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top right: what you’re missing here is the kick ass boots that go with this outfit!  see herevintage photothis vintage pic is via micemen.  and it’s just plain fun.  and look they’re not all on their phones!

here’s to yellow.  cuz, here’s what it looks like here:

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until later, my friend…

6 Dec

 

 

 

read more about how special this trip is to me here or here  and now i’m going to be there!
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hear. jams to be thankful for this holiday

28 Nov

hear

for me, music isn’t just to be listened to, it’s to be felt.  it puts you in a mood.  maybe a day drinking kind of mood, or a stroll in the snow mood or simply a thankful mood.  here is a carefully curated bunch of playlists to put you in the right frame of mind while you mix turkey with mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce.  don’t you want to just plug and play?  hopefully, i made it a little easier for you Thanksgiving today.

first is my playlist on spotify.  (if you are still using itunes, shame on you) click here for the playlist.  i made it just for you, so listen and love.

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epicurious

didn’t just put together one playlist for you – but, like, a million.  there has to be something in here you will like!

fuse

has a wide range of tastes that mesh together seamlessly – good for a food coma, they say. and, i must add, very creative song list for thanksgiving.  listen here.  i love “sweet potato” by celia and “making pies” by patty griffin and ‘mashed potato time” by dee dee sharp.  cute.

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click here for some joni mitchell, beastie boys and fats waller.  beautiful.  just like pumpkin pie mixed with stuffing and a touch of green bean casserole.

Screen Shot 2013-11-28 at 8.53.29 AMHappy Thanksgiving.  I love all of you, my friends, reading this!

see. HONY – humans of new york.

26 Nov

a friend introduced me to this incredible facebook page you have to “like” instantly.  it is the most unique facebook page i’ve ever encountered. and that is saying a lot.  you have to have a little bit of an artsy point of view to get it.  it’s called HUMANS OF NEW YORK.  it’s actually a blog that you can find here.

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snapping pictures, getting a blurb and moving on.  these are amazing and really make you realize how small you are and how big and beautiful the world is.  watch his story:

here is a sample of what comes into my feed:

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Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 8.34.48 AM Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 8.35.06 AMi hope your life is enriched like mine has been!

absolutely obsessed with lorde

9 Nov

since this blog is called the appreciator, i have to write about my latest obsession – lorde, the 16 year old singer/songwriter from new zealand.  i am absolutely blown away by her sound + lyrics.  her debut album is amazing from top to bottom and i listen to it so loud driving to and from work that people have to think i’m a bit nuts.  how in the hell-o can someone that young have such deep, creative lyrics?

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now, if you are one of those people that just enjoys a good beat, then you probably won’t like this. but if you get into lyrics and oddity and unsymmetrical poetry – then you won’t be able to put this down like a never-ending delicious book.  here are the lyrics to one of my favorite’s called ‘team’.  i can already picture the lyrics sketched on a big white wall in my dream office space.

Wait ’til you’re announced
We’ve not yet lost all our graces
The hounds will stay in chains
Look upon your greatness
That you’ll send the call out
(Send the call out [15x])

Call all the ladies out
They’re in their finery
A hundred jewels on throats
A hundred jewels between teeth
Now bring my boys in
Their skin in craters like the moon
The moon we love like a brother, while he glows through the room

Dancin’ around the lies we tell
Dancin’ around big eyes as well
Even the comatose they don’t dance and tell

[Chorus]
We live in cities you’ll never see on screen
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run free
Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams
And you know, we’re on each other’s team

I’m kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air, so there
So all the cups got broke shards beneath our feet but it wasn’t my fault
And everyone’s competing for a love they won’t receive
‘Cause what this palace wants is release

[Chorus]

I’m kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air
So there
I’m kinda older than I was when I revelled without a care
So there

[Chorus]

here is the song:

here’s a great video about her.  watch this and then compare ( i had to briefly…) her to someone with the initials MC.  who is the artist?

i am a writer.

2 Nov

ROF said something this week that upset me.  or it made me mad at first but then i thought about it some more.

i was telling a story about something that happened to me that i thought was right out of a scene from a movie, or a book.  and i said to ROF, “you know, the writer in me thought that would be a great story to tell.”  that’s when he said:

“since when are you a writer?”

i won’t bore you with the witty repartee but it is one of those things that i always thought i was.  in fact, i bet my mom and sister are reading this saying “she is a writer?” but it is one of those things that i’ve always aspired to be but don’t write much any more.  unless you count 287 blog posts writing.

which i do, by the way.  ROF. even if there are pictures.

i graduated college with a fiction writing minor.  i took a post-grad class called “your first 100 pages” of your novel.  i wrote a book of poems.  I’M A WRITER.

or am i just one of those old(er) people that hangs on to who they used to be – or worse – hangs on to whom they wanted to be? busted.  but stuff like this can always be turned around, right?  

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ernest hemingway, i’m not.  but i kind of liked thinking of myself as a writer.  so i’m going to start to write.  you’ll notice a new tab at the top of my blog. peek in there sometime if you want to read some musings.  i want to be a writer.

don’t you love canine kids?

21 Aug

welcome lil ruby.

while there is no replacement for max, our black and white english bulldog puppy has brightened our 9 to 5 lives.

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loving change

18 Aug

so we moved to michigan about 10 months ago and survived the winter and watched it give way to the most beautiful summer i’ve ever experienced.  in fact, i’m quite sure that ROF is tired of hearing me say:

i-love-it

it actually sounds more like this:  “i looooovvvve it!”  and i’m saying that because i really do.  i appreciate all the uniqueness that michigan has to offer that i’m not used to like:

big beautiful lakes with sandy beaches – everywhere

cool summer mornings and evenings

stays light out in the summer until almost 10pm

the change of seasons 

the hope and the grit of detroit

how nuts people are over cool cars

but then i realized something kind of big.  i actually have been programmed to LOVE IT.

growing up, i lived in cincinnati, cleveland, troy, boston, grand blanc, milwaukee, chicago, dallas, detroit.  i went to 3 different high schools in 3 different states.  even more elementary schools and during all these moves, both my mom and dad got us really excited for change by making it really fun and exciting. it could have been as simple as going for ice cream as a kid smushed in the way back of a vintage corvette or picking blueberries in the woods in boston to dad getting us the presidential suite at the hilton on michigan avenue, loading the beds with a bunch of cubs t-shirts and hats and taking us to dinner at the 95th floor of the hancock building.  i learned to LOVE change.  to love new houses, new opportunities.

so it’s not that i don’t truly loooooove it – as i say about something almost every day, because i do.  it’s just that realization that i think i’ve always been an “appreciator”!

appreciating everyday people

30 Jul

so this brief blog post is to say that i appreciate the fantastic guy who works in our building downstairs who holds the door kindly for all of us leaving the building around 6pm – 7pm.  the door locks so he does this so we don’t have to fish for our keys.  he’s an older, balding type with happy eyes and is always so kind and  friendly.  last night’s interaction went like this:

“how you doin’ tonight?” (nice man holding door)

“i’m doin’ fine, thank you!” (me, all pooped from a long day)

“i know you’re fine, but HOW YA DOIN’?”  (he yells as i round the corner) 

i laughed all the way in the elevator and into my car.  (this was not a cheesy interaction but a nice, funny one).

it’s the little things.

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rant: only say thank you when you are thanking someone. thanks.

24 Jun

it’s not normal for me to rant on my blog called “the appreciator” but i feel like it.  and it’s my blog.

have you noticed how incorrectly people use the words “thank you”?  

especially in this modern day communication via email, i notice that people say “thank you” when they really aren’t saying thank you for anything at all.  like the entire email is one big to-do list for you and at the bottom is “thank you!”  for what?  reading my diatribe?

the worst offender is the one that populates their signature with the word “THANKS!”  which means that they could be ripping you a new one in the email but don’t forget that i added “THANKS!” to the end of the email so now we’re all good and i’m really a nice person.

really annoying.  there.  i’m done ranting.  

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paris: the new workout

29 May

we’re planning on going to paris in december.

 i’ve been wanting to go to paris for over 25 years.  i just really wanted to go with someone i loved.  like romantically (sorry mom.)

Amy Robert

so now, ROF is using his one week of vacation to take me there!  december may seem like an odd time to go, don’t you think?  not the spring when the buds on the trees are budding and the lovers are strolling down the Seine.  sidetracked <i hate that word ‘lovers’ by the way.  love-er.  almost hate that as much as the M word.>  

but there is a reason i picked december.  

it is the last month in the year and i’d like to lose 40 lbs before going to paris.  i better start.  that’s a lot of weight in not a lot of time.  the problem is, i don’t really want to change anything.  it’s no secret that ROF and i like the good life.  and that is what it is.  indulgence.  we like good friends, good wine, good food, good everything!  and i love living that kind of life with ROF.  but i’m going to have to tap the brakes, as they say, before paris.

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because this is my DREAM TRIP and i can’t settle for anything less than feeling great while i’m there.

so if you have some diet pointers (other than stop opening your mouth and eating good things) – send them my way.  use the code word “PARIS”.  I’ll know what you’re talking about.

it’s not a mess, it’s creative!

27 May

ask my mom. 

ever since i was in high school, i felt the need to be surrounded by creativity.  not mine, but others.  there is something about having it all around me – where i can see the details from wherever i am in the room.  what do i deem creative?  where he’s a short list:

kick ass photography – mainly fashion or decor
color – varies depending on mood.  black/white, pink, red, baby blue)
people who inspire me (audrey, diana, diane, woody)
people who i love (rof, dad, mom, sister
paris
quotes (it’s not who you are that holds you back.  It’s who you think you’re not)
dreamy landscapes and beautiful decor

so, like i’ve said in the past, i love to rip everything out of magazines and collage them up on a board.  In high school, i did this in my bedroom to every wall from top to bottom.  i may have been the only one that thought it was cool.  but – as you can see – i’m not the only one according to the latest on-line mags.  like these images from domino small spaces:

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so this weekend, while ROF was at the indy 500, i had the need to get creative.  side tracked<so much of our daily life is not creative.  status meetings, details, expectations.  let’s hover on expectations for a minute.  at work, i strive to exceed expectations.  my own, my clients, my peers.  does anyone know how exhausting that is?  i’m sure you do.  when you are being creative or just simply being inspired – there are no expectations except for you to trust your style. lovely>

so i grabbed my trusty scissors, about 50 magazines i had laying around, some books that never get opened and an xacto knife.  i snagged properly a rather large and ugly old bulletin board and got to work. have to say, i’m in my element when i’m doing this.  took me back to high school again.

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i love it!

appreciating this now

17 May

there is a daily thought that comes into my mind and comes out sometimes at our before-dinner prayer and that is:

i’m really really blessed.

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it shouldn’t be such a surprise every day how realizing this instantly de-stresses me.  this is my list today:

appreciating now:

– the anticipation of spending quality time with family we don’t get to see very often

– having niece and nephews that are fantastic, smart and so much fun to be around

– having a sister-in-law that is a deep thinker, has a wonderful heart and is such a good friend

– a husband that is so completely awesome

– blake shelton’s new song “boys round here” (had to break it up a little)

– a house we love

– beautiful michigan weather (right now!)

– a mom who is still a fantastic role model

– people who get it

-being driven by passion and not a paycheck.  the first one will always bring the second.

-expressing creativity

-thinking of paris

-good friends we’ve had a long time.

that’s it for now.

what are you happy about right now?

getting better and brighter

21 Apr

this past week i was fortunate to be forced out of my comfort zone.  

if you remember, i like turbulence on a flight because it shakes me out of my thoughts and forces me to be present.

frazzled

 

well, that is kind of how this past week was for me.  i’ve worked in the automotive advertising industry for 21 years now (hard to believe) and because some of the programs i’m doing, i was invited as a guest to attend the WFF annual conference in orlando.  i felt as if i was undercover, a poser, a faker.  however, when i shared who i was with some of the incredible women i met, they were impressed!  they thought it was a great idea that i was learning about their industry and they were, in turn, interested in mine.

i had the privilege of sitting through 6 one and a half hour long seminars taught by leaders in their field:

 

1. excavating the future: interactive session for reflection and planning for the year ahead (kellogg school of business professor)

2. seeing the big picture by kevin cope

3. courage, credibility and stretching your comfort zone

4. 21 ways to connect in business in 90 seconds or less (excellent)

5. taking the stairs: success means doing things you don’t want to do

6. accelerate your impact as a business leader

 

the goal of the program is content and connection so in each of these, I did exercises with and met women in the foodservice industry.  i have to say it has opened my eyes to what a great industry it is.  here are my scribbles of notes from the seminar.  they provided full decks and overviews but i listen best if i’m writing at the same time.

  • Sustained high performance requires rest
  • Productivity goes in 90 minute cycles
  • An impression happens in 2 seconds:  I trust you, you make sense, you move me.
  • Difference between motivation (money) and inspiration (create unstoppable employees)
  • #1 predictor of a successful person: Ability to Speak Up
  • 5 superpowers: Enthusiasm, Curiosity, Feedback, Empathy and Imagination
  • If people like you, they want to say YES to you, if they don’t they want to say NO to you.  They decide this very quickly.
  • 5 ways to make lasting impression: Attitude, eye contact, smile, open body language, synchronize.
  • Leaders speak in the positive, because people only process positive information.
  • Know what you want in the positive (horse example)
  • 55% of people are visual, the rest are kinetic or audio.  If you’re talking to a group, you need to engage all of them.  Tell a story
  • IAKOLA.  stands for I’m Am Kind Of Like A…. fill in the blank. (pit bull example)
  • It is key to understand how a company makes money.
  • Key that EVERYONE knows how a company makes money
  • Everyone needs to know their role in actively improving that process
  • Selling or supporting someone that is selling is key to increased revenue
  • Companies pay slower and collect faster for cash flow purposes
  • No margin, no mission  Stephen Covey
  • If you’re not unique, you better be cheap
  • That which you measure, you damage, that which you manage, you improve
  • Growth is important to a business because it attracts and keeps the best people
  • People work hard for a paycheck, harder for a person and hardest for a purpose
  • People want the big picture, need to engage employees hearts AND minds
  • Problems that are procrastinated on are amplified
  • Buffalo run into the storm to get through it, cows run from the storm and end up running with the storm for long periods of time.
  • Short term choices lead to difficult long term consequences
  • Leverage long term vision to endure short term sacrafice
  • You need to CONSTANTLY REMIND PEOPLE OF THE VISION
  • The more we have invested into something the less likely we are to let it fail
  • Neutral thinking always becomes negative
  • Increase your commitment by asking the question HOW can I do this rather than SHOULD i do this
  • Some of us care so much about success that we procrastinate and wait for a perfect time
  • Cultivate a habit of action
  • Demand progress rather than perfection
  • Comparison is not only the thief of joy but the definition of mediocracy
  • Success is never owned, it is rented and the rent is due every day.  
  • or being healthy is never owned…
  • or leading a team….

overall it was a great sunday, monday and tuesday with 2600 bright women.

quick thought – advertising for good

26 Mar

if every big time advertiser partnered with one or more charities and gave the cause just :05 attention on their TV or digital ads, think about the much needed attention that charity would get.  

Ads-for-Good

those big decisions

9 Mar

now that i think about it, i was always driven by inspiration and passion.

i was far from an all star all “a’ student in high school.

in fact, i don’t even remember caring to be one.  that seems like such a sin to say out loud in a day and age where high school kids are half way through college courses before they even get out of high school.  but it wasn’t a priority in my family.  in fact, it wasn’t even important to stay at the same school.  i went to two different grade schools and three different high schools – all in different states.

do you have any clue what it’s like to be the new person in school – even once? 

if you don’t, it is an entirely different challenge than getting good grades.  you want to fit in but you’re new, so first you have to figure out what fitting in means.  for some reason, that was always important to me – fitting in.  i can see where that wouldn’t be a need for everyone  – especially someone who went to school with the same people their entire student life.  but it was for me.   i made some great friends through the years but unfortunately for me, i was always moving on to the next adventure.

when it was time for me to go to college – the wanting to excel at school thing still hadn’t kicked off in me yet.  and i went to the university of cincinnati to be close to my grandma whom i loved beyond belief.  but unfortunately she died a week before my high school graduation and i had to go there without her being in cincinnati which was a very sad time for me.  but once again, it was time to fit in yet again.  and i met some awesome friends and had too much fun.  so much so that i couldn’t go back the next year.  i moved home and went to a community college for one semester.

it was there that i made probably one of the most important decisions of my life.

deflated and not really encouraged to do anything, i decided for myself that i wanted more.  i wanted much more and education was a part of it.  i took some advanced english courses in high school and my teacher told me back then that i would love columbia college in downtown chicago.  i remembered that and contacted the teacher – now a year later – and got the name of that school.  mom and i rode the commuter train together to downtown chicago and walked the eight blocks to michigan and harrison street to the school.  this by far, was out of my comfort zone and i loved it.

next was deciding what i wanted to do.  one thing i loved more than anything was magazines.  you can read more about that here.  and the ads in the magazine WORKED ON ME.  that is when i decided i wanted to be in advertising.  and the school i was now standing in front of was an excellent school for marketing communications.  it may not have been a top 10 school and i may have to live at home and miss out on all the great sorority life and hee haw of college.  risk possibly becoming even more far removed from my friends who all went away.  but now i had passion and direction and ever since that decision I HAVE NEVER LOOKED BACK.

to be continued…

things to love today

3 Mar

there are so many little things to love, here are a few things i’m loving right now…
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1. portlandia.

this show tickles me.  carrie & fred are my new best friends after flying around the country with them on my ipad.  it pokes fun at portland in a lovable, hysterical way.  they love the city, love working with each other and i’m so happy i stumbled upon them!  this humor isn’t for everyone.  you are either the kind that won’t get this at all, won’t think it is funny or smile constantly throughout the whole episode like i do.  like check out the opening song here. 

2. one kings lane

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there are a crazy ton of shopping sites out there and quite honestly, i’m a huge amazon fan.  nothing like buying something you don’t need without leaving your bed. and getting it the next day.  there is joss & main and  the foundry and rue la la.  but one kings lane, in my estimation is the best.  kinda addicted.  this site has been around for a while – so nothing new here – but i have ordered several awesome things from this site with great success.  it is reminiscent to going to searching through a flea market but on-line and everything is great – not crap.

ok.  so nothing like a flea market.

3. detroit

to say i love detroit would not be doing my feelings justice.  after hearing for years and years about the “dreaded” transfer to detroit or just people wrinkling up their nose when you mention it’s name – i really didn’t expect to be so taken.  the most notable thing about detroit and the areas surrounding detroit is that the people here love it here.  not just like it.  love it.  we have people at my office who live downtown or in midtown (same thing to me) who absolutely glow with pride talking about the places to eat and things to do.  i love that.

what’s even more important to note is that detroit isn’t just something to be surprised by but i’m even ashamedly in awe of some of the despair – spray painted buildings because they are somehow beautiful.  it’s not enough to stop there because the point that i’m at – that moves me to HELP detroit is that after watching this documentary – detropia – is that detroit is not detroit’s problem – it’s our entire country’s problem.  just like the country rallies around new orleans post-katrina and new york post-sandy – the country needs to rally around detroit.  everything exciting, big and great started from this city otherwise know as motown and the motor city.  it was built to hold the millions that lived here but now it’s only 700,000 spread out all over the city.  we need help and i want to be a part of the upswing of this wonderful city!

i think anthony bourdain said it best:

Anthony Bourdain’s blog, July 27: Detroit. Where just about everything cool originated. As angry as one gets looking at block after block of abandoned row houses in Baltimore and wondering how the hell that happened, it’s mind boggling to see how far Detroit has been allowed to fall. But what a truly magnificent breed of crazy-ass hardcase characters have dug in there. Of all three cities we visited, Detroit, oddly enough, even while looking the jaws of death straight in the face, remains closest to being a true culinary wonderland. This is due entirely to the successive waves of migration and immigration from all over the world, when people came to MAKE things in America — each group bringing their own food and traditions. Detroit IS the story of America, for better — and worse, and I think we’ve missed that, allowed ourselves to look away. Detroit, after all, made us who we are. Literally. A country of cars, highways, car culture, upward mobility, rock and roll, rhythm and blues, and what were once, unlimited dreams. Whatever happens next, Motown, Eminem and the Stooges’ “Fun House”, at least, shall surely outlast the automobile.

of course, those from detroit are thinking – yeah – well said from your toasty home in birmingham.  well just you wait.

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the long abandoned beautiful train station

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that’s it for now.  have a great week!

don’t call it a resolution, it’s re-focusing

28 Dec

i’ve always loved new things and experiences.  like the first day of school after goofing off all summer. new clothes and a new notebook with that first blank page just begging to be written on with your new pen from your new book bag (didn’t have backpacks back in my day.)

lately, i’ve been experiencing a lot of “new” things.  new city, new neighbors, new state, new co-workers, new office, new house – lots.  but my favorite kind of new is a new year.  typically, i put a lot of thought into starting anew.  not just resolutions but keeping my mind focused on what is important and what is not.  if you’re not careful, you can get wrapped up in the small things thinking they are the big things.

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so it is about this time of year that i seek out photos of times i can remember being, well … exuberant.  i use that guidance i may need to get re-focused. here is one such photo:

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the reason why i chose this picture is because i can remember feeling really good about myself.  healthy, confident and pretty.  not that i’m not those things now but once again, it’s about re-focusing for a new year.  i was eating well, enjoying myself and life and was inspired by the people around me which is always a bonus.

the other thing i do is download (or buy) books that help with this re-focus.  i love the first page of quotes in this book .  i haven’t read the book yet, so i’m not endorsing, but read these and tell me they don’t make you feel something!

————————————

To change one’s life:

Start immediately.

Do it flamboyantly.

No exceptions.   WILLIAM JAMES

Saying is one thing and doing is another. MONTAIGNE

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. RALPH WALDO EMERSON

We know what a person thinks not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions. ISAAC BASHEVIS SINGER

Things won are done, joy’s soul lies in the doing. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don’t just stand there; make it happen. LEE IAO COC CA

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not. WALTER BAGEHOT

The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. H. NORMAN SCHWARZKOPF  

They talk most who have the least to say. MATTHEW PRIOR  

There are very few people who don’t become more interesting when they stop talking. MARY LOWRY  

Noise proves nothing—often a hen who has merely laid an egg, cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. MARK TWAIN

The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions CONFUCIUS    

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

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so here’s to us digging in, re-focusing in 2013 and being the best we can possibly be.  for us and for those we influence!

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keep calm and don’t forget to be awesome from therekindledpage on easy.

 

obsessed with tradition – and here’s a good one

13 Dec

i don’t know about you, but i love hearing about a friend’s family tradition around the holidays.  but never have i actually been a part of a family’s tradition and – felt so honored.

here’s the tradition

so ever since they got married and had their first child – a son – they made the decision that at thanksgiving, they – as a family – would design an ornament.  between thanksgiving and christmas they would make the ornament and then one would go into a box for their son and then they would have a certain amount to give to people that had an impact on their lives throughout the year.

ok stop.  how cool is that?

then they had a daughter and they continued the tradition.  so at the same time:

1. the children get a box when they get married (or older, whichever comes first) of meaningful ornaments from EVERY YEAR they’ve been alive.  that the family thought about and made together

and

2. they get to give away a certain amount of ornaments to people and friends that meant something to them.

i love this.  ya know why?  i got one!  and i treasure it.  and i can’t tell you how much i’ve thought about this tradition.  mostly because i’ve thrown out all my ornaments or they really didn’t mean anything.  but since this is the first christmas that is just my wonderful husband and myself – i want to start something that affects us and others.

it’s never too late to start this tradition of your own.  i think rof and i need to do it. but it may have something to do with either marinade or holiday spirits.

what is your holiday tradition? 

saying goodbye

4 Nov

the past month has been amazing. so many friends and so many goodbyes and celebrations of friendships. here is a smattering of good times i’ve spent at all my favorite dallas places with all my favorite people! wow, appreciate this big time.

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