Tag Archives: encouragement

3 Ways to Live Your Life Right

25 Sep

1. Realize You Only Have Today

That sounds really depressing but it’s so important to remember.  And so you don’t think I’m preachy or self-righteous- these are all things I (especially) need to remember.  And it’s things I know.  As many of you know, 13 years ago on this day, my dad died.  For those of you who haven’t had someone that you loved with all your heart and all your mind pass away – it is a grief you never get over.  You don’t ever “get through it.”  It’s a soul, a parent, a child, a friend, a person who made a lasting impression on you.  Daily there are reminders.  Some small – like a James Taylor song playing in the background at a restaurant.  Some big – like when even after 13 years there are things I think “I can’t wait to tell my dad!” and that feeling when you remember that you can’t.  These are things I learned from that experience. I’ve always felt like I am invincible and going to live forever.  But the likelihood of that happening isn’t guaranteed.  Things can change in a millisecond.  All those stupid quotes that tell you about the past is gone and the future unknown and we only have the present are kind of not stupid.  People that live in the past are consumed with fear.  Fear of the present and fear of the future.  Being consumed with fear is no way to live fully.  When your day comes, you will (I promise you) regret the way you lived.  Your time is up and you didn’t live to your potential.   My dad had a pain in his stomach and went to the doctor who told him he had 4 months to live.  4 months!  Can you imagine being told that?  Imagine it right now.  What would you do differently?  Would you spend it harboring old pain that you can do nothing about or about controlling what you can control right this very minute?

“Give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of everything you see around you. Go outside and turn your attention to the many miracles around you. This five-minute-a-day regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe.” – Wayne Dyer

2. Act Now on the Hard Stuff

Going back to my dad finding out he had 4 months to live – he righted every wrong instantly.  He didn’t think about it, didn’t mess around – he made some BIG decisions very fast.  Like sold his house and moved back to Dallas in a couple of days.  Moved from a house on a golf course on Hilton Head Island with beautiful stuff to an apartment walking distance to me in Dallas.  Might make you think – why’d he ever leave? What decisions might you make if you found out you had 4 months to live?  Here is a checklist of potential decisions you might make.  Make a mental note of what you would do:
  • Call someone you need to talk to no matter who was right or who was wrong
  • Have you been putting something off like moving home or moving away from home
  • Go see something you’ve always wanted to see or do something you’ve always wanted to do

DO IT NOW.  Don’t wait.

3. Accept Yourself

“Self-acceptance means accepting and coming to terms with ourselves now, just as we are, with all our faults, weaknesses, shortcomings, errors, as well as our assets and strengths.  Self-acceptance is easier, however, if we realize that these negatives belong to us – they are not us.  Many people shy away from healthy self-acceptance because they insist upon identifying themselves with their mistakes.  You may have made a mistake, but this does not mean that you are a mistake.” – from Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
Time is running out.  You is all you have!  My dad ended up living 11 months, not 4.  It was some of the best 11 months of my life with my dad.  Truth be told, my dad before cancer was a little bit of a “look what I have” type of person.  Not snotty or showboating but liked nice things.  I like nice things.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes it can get out of control.  It sounds awful when I put it like that but you know what I mean, right?  But when you have very little time left in your life all that shit really goes out the window.  You are yourself, you’re honest and you’re real.   Don’t shake your head at me now and tell me that’s how you always are.  Come on.  Unless you’ve lived with someone who is dying you don’t know what I’m talking about and I’m probably doing a poor job of explaining it.  My most treasured time ever was when my dad in his bald head, cane popping glory would hoof it over to my second story apartment in the morning before work and have coffee with me.  He would make me laugh and cry and we were real with each other.  All that other bullshit falls completely away.  I didn’t care if he came over is the same damn gray sweatsuit he wore the previous day or that we didn’t have dinner plans that night or anything. So what to learn about accepting yourself?  Do what you need to do to be your true uninhibited self.  Don’t let past negativity hold you down.

Staying Curious in a Curious Time

21 Jun

Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your mojo?  That is how I’ve felt this year.  I hate saying that out loud because I have so much to be thankful and happy for when so many of my friends and acquaintances are going through a hard time.  Do you know what I mean?  If all I’ve lost is my mojo then I’ve got it pretty good. Mojo might be over-rated anyway.

What this year has taught me so far is that life is finite.  You see, I never thought that.  My thinking as a self-absorbed career girl has always been that there is so much time left.  In my 20’s I smoked like crazy because – WHY NOT?  Life was long and I’d have plenty of time to quit (and thankfully, I did!)

Here is why I’ve lost my passion and how I’m going to get it back (took some soul searching)

How I lost it:

  • My career in the past was bent on leading clients in new directions with marketing.  I was talking Facebook, blogs, and Twitter in client meetings across the country 8 years ago!  I loved educating clients on more relevant ways to market their business.  I was driven (driven is the operative word) by coming up with unique ways to make a connection between my clients and their customers.  And it worked.  I think I’m missing that driven part now. And it has something to do with connection.
  • Loss, in general, has shaken me.  Knocked me off center.  And I hate saying that because it hasn’t been my loss. But I really feel for my friends who have lost parents, siblings, and pets.  Sudden loss, surprising loss.  Friends with cancer who have lost parts of their body to surgery.   Even the loss of people I admired but didn’t know personally rocked me.  Anthony Bourdain, who I quoted here, had my dream job and I loved following him around the world.  Kate Spade was the first expensive purse I bought and I have her inspiration all around me in her books, shoes, earrings and more.

I’ve felt knocked off center a bit.  But this is how I’m getting it back.  I’m not going to include the things you think I’m going to say like being thankful.  These are very true but you can read that anywhere.  I’m going to be thankful and grateful every single day.  Because I am.  And just because I’ve felt off – doesn’t mean I’m not appreciative.  After all, I am The Appreciator!

How I’m getting my Mojo back:

  • Think in the present tense.  I tend to think in the future.  I don’t dwell too much on the past but instead am always thinking of what’s to come.  Or what I think should come.  For example:
    • When I lose 80 pounds, I’ll be so much happier
    • When I accomplish the goals I have set out for myself for the day and the week
    • When we are able to buy a cabin up north
    • When, when, when

If you’ve never read anything by Eckhart Tolle, read him.  His faith is different from mine, but I appreciate his thinking and beliefs about living in the NOW.  This I’m going to practice.

  • Guarding My Mind. There is so much shit content out there. Whether it is podcasts, blogs, television, articles, webinars, social media – it is all consuming.  Oh, I love it, don’t get me wrong.  I’m a consumer.  Like this, this and this<swoon> 

Proverbs 4:23 says: ” More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it.”

I’m going to guard my mind and train it to focus on my main passion – being curious.  If I can stay focused on that goal and that is what I seek out in the content I’m consuming, then I think I can get my groove back on.  It’s so easy to get off track and run down that rabbit hole of WOPAD (what other people are doing) – I’m going to stay curious.

Is this getting too deep for you?  It almost is for me.  Need a coffee break.

OK.  I’m back.  Here is the biggest thing.  Saved the best for last.

I need to create.  It’s what drives me.  (wait. there is that word again!) And I’ve so gotten away from that.  If I really think about when I’m happiest – it is when I’m being creative.  Whether it is re-arranging furniture (only when ROF is gone, it stresses him out) or making a playlist, helping my clients, compiling an inspiration board or cooking dinner – I need to be creating.

Are you in a funk?  What do you NEED to be doing?  Do it.

 

encouragement for today

11 Nov

there’s something i want to remember every single morning.  

but i don’t.  i wake up and go through my programmed routine and i forget.  in the beginning i didn’t forget. and i made myself promise that i wouldn’t.

i don’t want to forget to remember to live this day as if i had 4 months left to live.  

like so many people out there, i learned this lesson the hard way.  it happened to someone close to me.  in fact, now that i think about it, it has been a similar situation for several people close to me.   why should you listen?  because i promise that if this news hasn’t crossed your path yet, it will someday.  

do you know what my dad did when he found out he had 4 months to live?  he moved, within weeks, two doors down from me in an OK apartment complex in dallas, texas.  do you know where he was living?  in a million dollar or so house on a golf course on hilton head island – away from his children – away from his family.

when he got the word that he was dying, his very first thought was me, my sister and my brother.   and my mom.  he didn’t give a shit that he was going to a rented one bedroom apartment – all that mattered was he was close to his family.  he didn’t care about feeling uncomfortable about asking our forgiveness, he did it.  and quick.

i could go on more about this but this encouragement for today isn’t about my dad.  it’s about you + me.  how can we live each day with this mindset?  here is what i thought about:

1. close your eyes.  you just got this horrible news.  what is very most important to you?  make it that important every single day and act as such.  pick up and move to dallas, so to speak.

2.  make it right.  if there is anything off kilter, make it right, now.  don’t wait for this day to come.  make it right RIGHT NOW.

3. make other people important.  taking a lesson from dad, i absolutely became the center of his life.  and i wasn’t before.  he was genuinely interested in what i was doing, saying, learning.  my favorite memories ever were in the morning before work, i would see his bald head bouncing down the outside walk to my house for coffee.  i loved it.  he couldn’t wait to wake up and talk to me about my day and what i was going to do.  i need to be like that every day with everyone i encounter.

4. get over yourself.  and your fears, insecurities and inhibitions.  it’s not about you.  it’s about your time with people important to you.  big difference.  so say i’m sorry, say i’m scared, say let’s pray, say i love you – stop with the inside voice telling you stupid things.  you only have a limited time.

DSCN2053

 

 

inspiration for today

15 Apr

today i’m in naples, florida with people I love. ROF arrives today and i can’t wait to see him!

i’m thinking about my wonderful aunt jeanie.  she passed away on wednesday. i loved her.  I used to stay at her house in columbus ohio when i handled the buick account at JTC Advertising.  she was always so excited to see me and hear about what i was doing.  she and I shared a love of books and movies.  she had so much life and interest in people and places!

she also could play the piano so well.  i snuck a video of her playing the last time I saw her.



i’m thinking of her sisters- my mom and aunt sally- and her kids, my cousins and her many grandkids.

oh! here are some things i’ve been meaning to tell you.  pass it on + be inspired!


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

heart attacks + fries

22 Feb

happy new year!

yes, i realize that it’s almost march but i haven’t posted since december.  i got a new job and started it in january and have been running ever since. (new job is awesome, by the way)

right now, i’m on an early morning delta flight out of dfw headed first to minneapolis and then to duluth. the cabin in this small plane smells like freshly brewed coffee and morning breath from the several men around me sleeping with their mouth wide open and head back.  from duluth i will rent a SUV and drive an hour and half to ashland, wisconsin.  otherwise known as God’s country.  look it up on a map.  it may be only 6 degrees up there but i consider it to be a huge perk of my job to experience the beauty which is northern wisconsin. then i turn around and drive back, stay by the airport and am on an early morning flight out of duluth to minneapolis and land back at dfw tomorrow at noon.

living healthy.

so at my age (46) i just realized i could die someday.  as a gen x’er (i’m stereotyping) the thought of dying or coming up on serious health issues could not have been further from my mind.  i was invincible and could smoke as much as i wanted (after all, the kids from my favorite movies did like st. elmos fire and singles.)

rob-lowe-st-elmo-s-fire

drink wine as much as i wanted like carrie bradshaw in sex and the city and not care about how it affected me and my body.

ob_67d294_tumblr-n0xp4tzjh51tohmdxo1-1280

now i know.  and it’s a sobering fact of life.  you get old and your body and organs go along for the ride.

my brother who is four years younger than me had a couple massive heart attacks around thanksgiving. they had to shock him 19 times and his heart stopped beating for over 15 minutes.  my brother and i have a very strained and challenging relationship but it has made me sad for him.  it has made me think of me too.  that maybe it isn’t enough for me to just drink my trader joe’s super green powder drink every morning and “try” to walk 30 minutes before slumping back in front of my computer for the rest of the day.  maybe i have to do more and maybe it’s urgent.  maybe i better stop thinking that all there is what makes me happy now and think about the fact that what i do now will make me very happy in the future.

so i’m not a complainer or a whiner, i’m a doer and so i got a physical.  i’m on a plan to lose weight and eat right.  it is not going to be easy.  in fact, i forgot about eating right when i ordered a BLT sandwich and fries at st. pete’s dancing marlin this weekend. i only ate half.

Screen Shot 2016-02-22 at 7.44.31 AM

baby steps.

i also have a cardiologist who is going to run all the tests and wants to see me every 6 months.  she’s awesome.  my mom had her first heart attack at only 49.  and i’m 46.

it’s a journey,right?  that’s what they say.  i hope that i can do this and have encouragement along the way.

happy new year!

encouragement for today

30 Oct

my encouragement for today is for you, girl.

yes, you.

the woman who does it all.

chin up.  don’t get discouraged.  don’t get down.

if you don’t get encouraged by me, at least listen to one of my heros at the end.

have a great day!

1edd4981d74fd26e7ff52c78cd5d70f8 57bdd63c9ed2762a2f4d9ead186c85b3 42e91594f1e07ba1df7a9da86f7dfc73 2bd2caf60badbbe313e7235309716ddb 00df02a6988ee67dbbd8b607ecae8a08 Screen Shot 2015-10-30 at 6.13.57 AM 4c9f543f9ce8657836bd4b422c2eeb5d 9e2381a6061443d22aec9272048fdfce 24509a1041e0d53ab850eb72f470f40f 68123b7b1bd7137b6ec158921187e922 a8a5b73defe61b7e88dc70fd0abc0116

now, if you’ve made it this far, listen to maya.  miss you.

encouragement for today

17 Sep

ok, so i went a little crazy on pinterest

this weekend and pulled some goodies.

it’s thursday, so read and be encouraged – or at least laugh!

make today a great day.  xoxo

cf35423a0778dd61f873597e2cb93ea2

f78716ecd0c2dad76e065a6f32151299 a640bbe3daa1f5a5484b1d547c7bdbb4 a3925d4b5d57a9d5a0eea7ee218423bc ce58b946723949cbb360e25a5ffabd58

d68633582a885b749578fdeb8eab06ae

d79d3f7ea54116f44966f4cc8756365a 4f825da6c112f0f5cbf9ea076f72e5c1

1edd4981d74fd26e7ff52c78cd5d70f8

42e91594f1e07ba1df7a9da86f7dfc73

47ad1502574900cbf7e611cf615d75fc

64e377b1bb122bb5f90a6647ca53e9f1

42dff8ddc5a2485eee08229d4ce31796

fde1220ea138b49e632362bf18f79b5a bbf7006c629458233738c75aed64cb43 b126e31fbd45e6dc2b3fffa77e9d9a4f 5d8fde1764413e8a351da7bf1b0453c0 abdb79ecfa80032c01808160251ac1f0 ac28fed09af0dafdc293ddca2404019d

what keeps me motivated.

15 Jul

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 6.45.40 AM

my weight loss journey has been a long one.  as is it with most people.  but the one constant that keeps me focused and on track is God.

right now i’m into running and yoga.  running is extremely hard for me.  it’s boring and the minute it starts to get hard i want to quit.  now, if ROF is reading this (and he probably is) he might think that i motivate myself by the way i scream at the top of my lungs while i do my couch to 5K running app on the treadmill.  it cracks him up to hear me bellow out rap lyrics and mix in random spurts of  YOU CAN DO IT and ONE MORE MINUTE!  and KEEP RUNNING to myself.  

it’s fun, but not my real motivator.  my real motivator is saying this over and over to myself:  “you are fearfully and wonderfully made.”  that is what keeps me going.  i am fearfully and wonderfully made.  really?  you mean i just don’t willy nilly exist from an evolved ape?

it’s from psalm 139 and it is one of the most comforting passages in the bible to me.  here, read the NIV version for yourself:

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

how does that knowledge motivate me?  because they are words ordained by God and spoken by one bad-ass dude – David.  and it isn’t about just me and what i want for me but what God wants for me.  he put a lot of thought into me and i was fearfully and wonderfully made.  so push on because i was made for it!

 not that it matters, but bono is moved too by the psalms…

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 6.34.05 AM
i have this book right on my nightstand.  it’s just the psalms alone with an intro by bono.  i’ve had this book for a long time and it’s dog-earred and highlighted and torn.  i didn’t even know that U2 based their song “40” on a psalm!  here i was in my 20’s, screaming “how long” in soldier field in chicago and waving my hands in the air (probably sloshing my beer all over everyone) not knowing how much this book of the bible would influence me in my future.
“So then we had this slightly unusual piece of music and we said, ‘OK, what are we going to do with it?’ Bono said, ‘Let’s do a psalm.’ Opened up the bible and found Psalm 40. ‘This is it. Let’s do it.’ And within forty minutes we had worked out the last few elements for the tune, Bono had sung it, and we mixed it. And literally, after finishing the mix, we walked out through the door and the next band walked in.”
– The Edge, U2 By U2 2006
this is a snippet of how bono tells his story in the introduction of this book:
Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 6.33.31 AM
anyway, in addition to running, i have been loving yoga.  probably because i’m just able to move now better than i used to.  but it is a great way to connect with my body in a loving way, not a hurtful way like in the past…”you can’t wear clothes like that….you can’t do this….you can’t do that…i hate my body…” but it is a way to meditate on this psalm.  even though yoga stems from a different belief system than Christianity, I totally can respect it’s origin and people but continue to silently meditate – while i sweep my hands in the air and take a long stretch – on the fact that i was “fearfully and wonderfully made…”

have a great day!

losing 75 pounds + what i’ve learned

10 Aug

so far,  i’ve lost a little over 75 pounds.

Screen Shot 2014-08-10 at 8.41.21 AM

that’s a shitload of weight, if i do say so myself.  i’m far from done too and have at least 50 more pounds to go.  i felt like sharing some of the things i’ve learned about myself during this process.

1. boy, do old habits run deep.

i kind of pride myself on remaining relevant.  whatever the hell that means… i guess i never wanted to be one of those people that gets stuck in their way and goes through life on auto-pilot.  and, i’m not.  but this process i’ve been through has taught me how important it is to recognize a negative pattern and revise it.  revising it means evolving your thinking and replacing that habit with something else.

let’s think about that negative habit.  it may not be something your spouse or family think is negative – it may not be “bad” in the world’s eyes – but for YOU and your new vision of yourself, it’s not good.  i’ve needed to lay down the law to myself.  here are some of my bad habits:

* mindless snacking.  i now share an office with my team in a big room because i’ll be commuting from dallas to detroit each week except for two days.  so i gave up my office.  so my team-mates are probably snickering right now because they have witnessed this first hand.  mindless snacking to me is having my hand in a popcorn bag 24/7 because i’m typing and thinking and writing and talking and my hands/brain always have to be doing something.  damnit to hell.  hate that!  because i recognize that, my solution is to drink more water instead and walk more.  i also track all the mindless shoving of snacks in my mouth in myfitnesspal app and punish myself with watching the calories add up.

* exercising. losing over 75 pounds makes exercising a lot easier.  and this is what i’ve learned.  my body WANTS to move.  all the time.  my energy level is so high now that exercise is almost a given.  but my negative habit is deeply, deeply engrained into my head.  and that is “i just don’t exercise”.  never have, never will.  boooorrring.  it was not stressed growing up and i do not stress it to myself.  when i played tennis in high school i used to do everything possible to get out of the sprints and the running.  i used to HIDE IN THE TENNIS CURTAIN!  <confession> so turning around this thinking is really hard.  when you tell yourself something that “you’re just not this or you just don’t do that” it is really debilitating.  so i just do it now.  i tell myself “i am a walker”  and that I love to move.  and i’m starting to believe it!

Screen Shot 2014-08-10 at 8.44.19 AM

2.  all the things they tell you to do on a diet really do work.  

the simple things like drink a lot of water, eat protein, chew small bites, eat slowly, get daily exercise and avoiding processed food.  all that works and works really well.  it took a lot for me to learn that – a lot.  but one way i’ve lost the weight is focusing on these things.

3. forget vanity, life is much better minus the weight. 

life really is that much better now that i’m lighter.  i’m just being honest.  this has nothing to do with trying to fit in because  fitting in, to me, is so easy and extremely boring and un-creative.  <had to get that in>.

but something i’ve learned is that the mean-girl voice in my head has gone away.  you know, that inside voice that said things that kept me down + held me back.  all that conflict is gone.  poof-bam-blitz!  and on top of that, getting dressed for work in the morning is a lot more fun.

amy-may

4. just get through it. 

it’s been a long journey, i’m still on it and always will be.  it’s amazing what you can do just by telling yourself to get through it. tomorrow is a new day and i want to be in a new place.  it’s not as simple as it sounds.  but no matter what you’re going through, you’ve got to hope that tomorrow will be different.  so push through, endure + persevere.

thanks for reading!

encouragement for today

4 Feb

this week has been filled with encouragement.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 6.48.58 AM

and it’s only tuesday!

sunday’s sermon was excellent about God giving you courage and encouragement when you need it and pray for it.  ROF and i did a bible study last night based on the sermon and it asked us to name some times when God gave you a small responsibility to test you before He gave you a big one.  it’s just encouraging to me to know that He is so very intimately involved in our lives and not just a thing you do on sundays.  if you want to read more on this, click here.

next, my sister reminded me of something i found and sent to her last month.  I love this stuff.   this is by dan waldschmidt.  it gave her encouragement at the exact time she needed it.  maybe it will do the same for you.  thanks dan!  looks like he has a new book coming out.

YOU HAVE TO DO THE HARD THINGS.

You have to make the call you’re afraid to make.
You have to get up earlier than you want to get up.
You have to give more than you get in return right away.
You have to care more about others than they care about you.
You have to fight when you are already injured, bloody, and sore.
You have to feel unsure and insecure when playing it safe seems smarter.
You have to lead when no one else is following you yet.
You have to invest in yourself even though no one else is.
You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have.
You have to grind out the details when it’s easier to shrug them off.
You have to deliver results when making excuses is an option.
You have to search for your own explanations even when you’re told to accept the “facts”.
You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot.
You have try and fail and try again.
You have to run faster even though you’re out of breath.
You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you.
You have to meet deadlines that are unreasonable and deliver results that are unparalleled.
You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong.
You have to keep moving towards where you want to be no matter what’s in front of you.
You have to do the hard things.
The things that no one else is doing. The things that scare you. The things that make you wonder how much longer you can hold on.
Those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between living a life of mediocrity or outrageous success.
The hard things are the easiest things to avoid.  To excuse away. To pretend like they don’t apply to you.
The simple truth about how ordinary people accomplish outrageous feats of success is that they do the hard things that smarter, wealthier, more qualified people don’t have the courage — or desperation — to do.
Do the hard things. You might be surprised at how amazing you really are.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 7.00.03 AM

top photo credit to: henry stern

%d bloggers like this: