Look no further. The best margarita recipe is here. Once you make this, you’ll never, ever use a mix again. These, hands down are the best drinks to usher out the summer.
if you want a plain, delicious margarita recipe, see this. But if you want to shake things up a little bit (that’s cocktail humor) then read on…
JalapeñoMargarita
My boy, ROF, is the best drink maker, I guess you’d call that a bartender. You can watch all his drink videos here.
Here is his video and the recipe follows. This is from a couple of years ago when we lived in Dallas. So it is Dallas approved!
ONE BATCH FOR FOUR:
6 Limes – juice them. Have more for garnish
1 cup Jalapeno simple syrup – recipe follows
1 cup Cointreau liquor – orange-flavored liqueur
1 cup Herradura tequila – or any tequila
Pour all into a large pitcher and stir. Pour into four glasses filled with ice and garnished with a lime.
Jalapeno Simple Syrup Ingredients
2 cups sugar
1 cup water
2 fresh jalapeño peppers (washed and stemmed)
Make it:
Add the sugar and water to a saucepan over medium-high heat and stir constantly until the sugar is dissolved
Slice jalapeños lengthwise and add to the pan
Bring to a boil, stirring frequently
Reduce the heat to a gentle simmer, and simmer for three minutes
Remove from heat and let it steep for 20 minutes
Strain to remove all of the pepper
Enjoy! Let me know if you make these! Happy Labor Day!
READ IF YOU WANT TO CONNECT MORE WITH YOUR LOVE-ER.
I read in a very good book once that the most important decision you make in a lifetime is who you choose to be your spouse. They don’t teach you that in school.
Think about it.
You could be very far away from that decision right now. It doesn’t make it less important. Your focus might now be on yourself, your kids or your career. But your kids know about love and how to treat a spouse from…you. It’s not like you sat them down and taught them like maybe you did with the birds + the bees but they notice just the same.
It was important for me to find the right spouse before I had kids. And I’m not telling you that because – la-dee-da I found a great spouse – (which I did) but because I sacrificed having kids for the great spouse. Which I am 110% ok with how that worked out. For me, finding the right person took a while.
I tell you all this because ROF and I have a blast together. We really do. What I want for you is to have some ideas to connect, re-connect or just keep being you – together. Please let me know if you guys try any of these. In fact, snap them and tag #joyseekerscollective
DINE AROUND YOUR HOMETOWN
Each of you picks a different place for an appetizer, dinner, and dessert. It’s more fun if you can walk to these places. At the end do a “review” of best service, presentation, taste, etc…
LEARN SOMETHING NEW
Take turns picking a cooking, art, exercise, financial planning, mixologist, bird watching or anything type of class. This gives you something to talk about and creates memories.
TOP 100 MOVIES OF ALL TIME
ROF and I did this a while ago and didn’t finish. That’s a lot of movies. Quite honestly, I couldn’t get past the stupid Charlie Chaplin movies (!) But we worked our way up from the bottom of this list in order. It was fun watching some movies we would have never seen otherwise. Like Network or The Deer Hunter. Our nephew joined us for a summer and he loved joining in too. I even kept a book on what we thought of the movie.
PLAY CARDS
Seriously, how do couples get along without playing a regular game of gin rummy with each other? I don’t even know. ROF and I call this (jokingly) our “couples activity.” We have played an annual game of gin for the past 8-9 years in a row. From July 23 – July 23rd every year. AND YES ROF HAS WON EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR. We keep a book of our on-going score and jot a couple of notes next to the date on what we’re doing. We have played cards all around the world! Paris, NYC, Napa, Dallas, Toronto, Hawaii (we were asked to stop playing in the Maui airport because it was considered gambling!) ROF and I have a certain way of lovingly talking smack to each other while we play and we have some good laughs. When we want to play a quick series of 3 hands, we call that a “Q3” and we’ll do a “Q3” anywhere – anytime!
VOLUNTEER
COOK AT HOME TOGETHER
We use PLATED to easily cook meals together. We have fun doing it too. ROF is in charge of chopping (he’s very good at it…especially onions) and the meat and I’m in charge of the sauces and toasting things. I’m very good at putting things in the oven…haha. We’ve cooked over 226 Plated meals! We have our favorites but we especially like learning new techniques.
ROAD TRIP
Just get in the car and drive. And talk. Make a plan to visit an area or just throw caution to the wind.
DAY DRINK + ERRANDS
I don’t recommend this if you don’t drink. And this for sure shouldn’t be an every-weekend-kind of activity. But we did this once and still laugh about it.
ROF has his list of errands that he does on Saturday mornings if he is home. You know, dry cleaning, post office, taxidermy pick-up – regular errands. Sometimes I join along for company and we might stop for lunch.
On this one particular day, we decided since it was a beautiful, crisp, fall afternoon and there was a Wisconsin football game on, we decided to have Mexican food and a margarita or two. Then finish our errands.
fun.
HOLD HANDS (ONLY IF YOU TYPICALLY DON’T)
INTERVIEW EACH OTHER
I actually don’t know anyone that would literally do this but I’ll add a twist. On our second date, ROF and I did a volunteer project with his office in Dallas at a camp. It was a drive out there so he asked me to bring three questions on notecards and he would do the same. I still remember 2/3 questions he asked. One that we talked about for a while was: “What is the biggest lie you’ve told”
GET SCARED PLAY MONOPOLY
SHOPPING CONTEST
Go to a garage sale, flea market or farmers market and choose an amount of money – like $5 and have a contest who can get the best value/deal/item for that amount. It’s obviously very subjective, which is what makes it so much fun.
Of course, I play this game with myself every day with more money and I always win and get in trouble for shopping too much.
IMPROMPTU PARTY
Ina Garten, one of my faves, wrote in one of her cookbooks that even when she and Jeffery didn’t have any money and were both in school she still had dinner parties. No one cares as much as you do that the placemats and napkins don’t match and everyone has different drinking glasses – they are just happy to be there and be served.
So the two of you just decide to have a Sunday dinner, Saturday brunch, Friday happy hour or weekday leftover party and invite people over last minute. Those are mostly the most fun parties to have.
WEBSITE GIFT-OFF
See shopping contest, but do it on-line. Send each other a secret gift for agreed upon price.
HOW MANY GRAPES?
I am super grasping at ideas now. But it is very telling how many grapes your sig other can fit in their mouth. Here is the chart:
10-15 grapes: This person is very intelligent. Especially if they can figure out how to eat all those grapes without taking them out of their mouth.
5-9 grapes: This person likes the finer things in life. They are also most likely to burp after removing the grapes even if they didn’t drink or eat anything.
1-4 grapes: This person needs help. They are most likely lying that they can’t get just one more grape in. Don’t trust this person or let them order on their own in a restaurant.
If you’ve ever worked for me, you know there is something I say all. the. time.
START FROM THE BEGINNING
In a business situation, I think about this when I’m giving my boss or a client an update. You can’t assume their head is where your head is at the moment so don’t just jump right into a conversation. Pause and start from the beginning – or tell a story – one that has a start, middle and end. Or in business, a problem, a solution and a result.
On a personal level, I’m going to start from the beginning with you. Right now. This is how I grew up with a heart for joy.
When I was in junior high, we lived in a suburb of Flint, Michigan. My dad worked for Buick Motor Division, so it made sense for us to be there. It was a nice suburb where I was given many privileges. The ability to play outside for hours with friends, take dance and tennis lessons, roller skate to Diana Ross and swim in our neighbors pool.
During this time, we had a black lab named Maggie. We trained her to do her business down “at the dirt.” We had a huge backyard complete with a walking path through the trees and a little stream with a bridge. My parents didn’t want Maggie to ruin the yard so we used to walk with her off leash through the backyard to a wide open space with… dirt. That is where she did her biz.
Maggie, being a young lab, never did anything quickly so sometimes you were out there at night for quite a while. This time is what I remember being very pivotal for me and how I found true joy that would become a part of me forever.
At 12 or so years old, I would (very vocally begrudgingly) take Maggie out to the dirt at night before bed. I’d have much rather been watching MTV. But I would slip on some flip flops and whistle for Maggie who would run with me through the yard. We were careful to make sure the sprinklers weren’t on having learned that the hard way.
I’d stand out at the dirt and be overwhelmed by the star studded sky. I felt so small in comparison. I used to raise my 12 year old hands over my head, close my eyes and think to myself “I can go as high as that.”
How my young soul knew to think that and think it with conviction and with my whole body, I don’t know. Actually, I may have an idea but we’ll talk about that later.
I CAN GO AS HIGH AS THAT.
This has been in my head and as part of me for as long as I can remember. It is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it formed a GROWTH mindset in me. I can do what I put my mind to and I was meant for big things. A curse because I’m never satisfied that I’ve reached “high enough” yet.
I share this experience with you because there are lessons we can pull from if you didn’t have a similar belief or experience growing up. Here are 3 things to consider:
Confident hope stated as truth breeds true everlasting joy
Having a grandiose goal that you reinforce daily points your brain 🧠 in right direction
You have to believe this yourself – it can be reinforced by others (parents) but it has to come from you
So what do you do with this information and how could it help you now?
Where do you want to go? Even if it is as vague as “up.” I told myself over and over that I was going somewhere.
What do you know to be true about yourself? You work harder than everyone else, you’re driven by honesty and integrity, you are passionate and driven towards … what?
Put together your own mantra of sorts that is short and focused on where you want to go. It can be grand and open or very focused. confident hope. Here are some examples:
I got this
I can finish with honors
I can go as far as I want
I’ll make x next year
I can go as high as the sky
Let’s go back to the beginning. This is where joy started for me. This confident goal to myself. And I’m doing it. One of the most special comments ever made to me was from a mentor and boss I had in the agency world. One of the most important people in my life as far as influencing me to be a good leader and manager. I had made some sugar scrub as a weekend project (hahaha) and brought some jars in for some of the guys wives. And he said to me: “Amy no matter what you do whether it is making sugar scrub or leading our social media department, I know you can do whatever you put your mind to extremely well.”
The last thing you can do is if you are reading this and you have kids- give them the tools they need to have this kind of set up in life. One that sets joy up as a base at an early age in their life.
Happy Friday, y’all! First off, if you are used to following a recipe to a tee, you are going to have fun with this hearty pre-fall meal. There is no need for measurements here – make it your own!
Next, this is a great dish to throw in the freezer and the thaw and reheat. I have three huge jugs of it in my freezer right now.
I made this because I bought 7 tomatoes to make a recipe but didn’t end up making it. I didn’t want to waste them. This sauce kind of resembles chili and can probably be eaten as such but my mom prolly wouldn’t approve. This is her recipe and she makes it a lot. She informed me that spaghetti is her favorite meal and always has been. Trust me, she knows what she is doing.
Bunch of red ripe tomatoes (or buy canned, whatever)
Ton of spices (more on that later)
1 can tomato soup
2 jars pasta sauce
Cook:
The beef and sausage in some oil, breaking it up into small pieces until no longer pink
in separate pan, cook the onions, peppers, celery carrots and garlic in a little bit of oil- cook until soft. Throw in some salt and pepper
Combine the veggies and meats and let them get to know each other in the pot. Pour in the sauces and soup. My mom made me rinse out the jar with a little water and pour that into the mix
If you are going to use fresh tomatoes like us, it’s a pain. Just kidding! First score the bottom of the tomatoes in a cross cross fashion with a knife. Barely pierce the skin. Throw them in boiling water for a little while – until you see skin start to scrinch up. Then remove and dunk in ice water. Then the skin should peak right off. Don’t wear white pants like mom did. Ha.
Now toss in lots of spices. Sage advice: you can always add more but can’t add less. Spice examples: tarragon, cumin, red pepper flakes, oregano, parsley – just smell and if you like toss it in
You can also toss in some red wine. Here is one I like that you can get at grocery store.
Bring to a boil, then down to a simmer. Simmer for a while – however long it takes to beat your husband in a couple hands of gin.
Taste, taste, taste and add more seasoning.
Pour over any kind of noodles and you’ve got yourself lots of sauce for lots of future meals! If you make this – tag me in your IG.
Recently, I transformed this blog from The Appreciator to Joy Seekers Collection. And to be completely honest, I’m not sure where I’m going with it. That’s not completely honest. I kind of have a plan but if you are going to be a champion of seeking joy – you better be good at it.
Right?
And I’m not sure I am. But we’ll get back to that.
As you may or may not know, Joy is not the same as happiness. Joy comes from somewhere within you. Something external makes you happy. So don’t strive only to be happy all the time. Because if you do – you’re dependant on factors in which you can’t control. You can’t control the diagnosis of cancer, or the death of a loved one or a freak disaster. So if you are riddled with one of these issues or a million more – you’re not happy. You can be happy waking up, then the day just beats down on you and draws that happiness out of you.
But joy.
Oh but joy comes from within. If you have joy in your life, you have a different outlook. A different mindset.
I’ll give you a personal example. I have a lot of them. There was a time in my life about 19 years ago to be exact when everything I knew crumbled around me. A lot of you have heard the story of my dad’s death but this has to do with when my dad divorced my mom. That was harder. Hard times seem to come in triples or more. This is what was going on with me at 30 years old:
My dad announced to our close-knit family that he was leaving my mom for another woman after 30+ years of marriage. This completely shocked us. My dad wasn’t like that!
The first ad agency I went to work for after college and where I built my career – lost the core piece of business and I had to help let go almost 15 people several of them, close friends. I had a job but clearly needed to look elsewhere
I fell through a glass table early in the morning (long story) and had to get stitches in my knee (owww!)
My whole world had crashed in on me. My family which was my mom, sister and brother were blown away by my dad’s announcement. And so hurt. My dad and I were really close and I couldn’t wait to marry someone just like him. Charismatic, a leader, funny and someone people respected. As he led my family around to 9 different cities and houses all we ever had was each other. This was so uncharacteristic. You can read the whole story here.
But this is about JOY.
I had no happiness at this time. I was beyond sad, let down and deflated. And what I’m going to say next is really not revolutionary. And maybe a little nutty. But it’s an example. I used to look at the trees outside my mom’s house and my apartment in Chicago and think about them. How long had they been there? How rooted they were in the ground. How God cares for them as He cares for me. And I started to think that I could get through this time as the trees had gotten through storms and drought and even new construction. I stared at these trees. I became grounded like these trees and it gave me hope. That I could get through this and one day, I’d be looking back on this situation. It made me wonder what part I could play in this drama in my life that could be positive.
That hope turned into joy as I discovered parts of me I never knew I had. Like forgiveness. Forgiveness is a form of joy because you are letting go of really negative feelings.Some of which may have existed inside you for a long time – keeping true joy at bay. Like hatred, betrayal and plain stupidity. When you forgive you look at life and a situation differently. Your focus moves from the person you’ve been hurt by to trying to understand the entire situation in a less personal way. When I did this I understood that my dad’s ego was bruised by retiring early. He lost his sense of identity and when a person in a leadership role loses his followers he is left with nothing. This is no excuse but my ability to try and understand this about his decision made me stop just being hurt by his stupid actions and take control of my feelings. He had screwed up, big time but I didn’t.
OK. So that was really deep. If you’ve read this far.
I seek for joy to be the cornerstone of who I am. I’m not there yet but I have a pretty good perspective. This can be a goal of yours too – no matter what issues you have now (newsflash – you’ll ALWAYS have issues!) whatever your upbringing was or troubles you face.
With this Joy Seekers Collective, we’re going to go on this journey together in the coming weeks and months. Sign up now to come on board!
Study up on MINDSETS. Read or listen to this book by Carol Dweck. It will call you out right away if you have a fixed or growth mindset.
In a fixed mindset, people believe their qualities cannot change. These people work to prove their intelligence and talents versus working to develop and improve them. They also believe that talent alone leads to success. It’s extremely limiting. You could also call this “this is just who I am” thinking. I personally can’t identify with this.
A growth mindset is when people have an underlying belief that their intelligence can grow with time and experience. When people believe they can get smarter (note: and not just from formal education), they realize that their effort has a profound effect on their success, so they put in extra time, leading to higher achievement.
I’m all about this. The book is captivating to me. It’s not so cut and dry. But I will tell you that my insane curiosity keeps me in the growth mindset and I’m so happy about it. I’ve surpassed all my career goals and guess what – I barely graduated high school. I squeaked by! I won’t bore you with the reasons why but “it was what it was.” If I had a fixed mindset, then that is the mentality that would have stayed with me for life. Barely getting by. But it wasn’t. I ended up working very hard, having goals to drive me, graduated college early with honors and getting hired by an ad agency in Chicago.
So… are you in a fixed mindset? You need to train your brain to think differently. Like right now. Time is a-wasting. How do you do this?
I don’t know. I haven’t read that far in the book yet. haha. So read it. But here are my thoughts…. take it or leave it.
1.USE YOUR MAGIC WAND. I can not take credit for this. I got this from Stephanie, my coach, who did this with us this week at our incredible Breakthrough Mastermind conference. I got a lot out of it. Answer this: You have a magic wand. It can change anything. What would you change/add to your life? Write it down, but write as if you already have it. This last part is what really did it for me. Seriously. Even just writing it and saying it out loud opens your brain to “wow, there are other options out there!” I’m going to make myself semi-vulnerable and read to you a bit of mine:
The way I handle stress is amazingly productive instead of harmful. I eat only one piece of chocolate a week and drink only one glass of wine.”
Thinking that and then writing it gave my brain the “whatsupwiththat” kind of vibes you’re looking for in this experiment. Do it every day. Train your brain to believe you already have what you want and you will naturally start to strive for it.
2. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE FREE. For reals, remember, and this may be hard for the fixed mindset types, but you are free.
MAKE A LIST OF WHAT YOU WANT ON ONE SIDE AND ONE THING YOU’RE GOING TO DO EVERY SINGLE DAY TO GET YOU CLOSER TO THAT GOAL
3. IT’S NOT WHERE YOU START, IT’S WHERE YOU FINISH. One thing I’ve learned as I near the big 5-0 years old is the older I get, the less I care what people think. I believe a lot of anxiety is caused by the misperception that people are judging you all the time. I hate to break it to you but people only care about themselves for the most part and aren’t judging you. Knowing that it’s not where you are, but where you’re going. No one knows your situation. No one knows your potential like you. Make some big goals for yourself, work tirelessly for those goals and get your brain pointed in the right direction.
