a couple of weeks ago i found myself having a group lunch in dallas with a couple of acquaintances. the three of us were positioned at the end of the table and having that good but somewhat awkward conversation given we’d just met each other. one of us was in her 50’s ,one in her 40’s and the third in her 30’s.
KIDS, NO MAN
the woman in her 50’s told us about her children and how she was a single mom with two kids. having divorced their abusive father when the kids were young, she said “i got two great kids out of the situation!”
MAN, NO KIDS
then i said – I did the opposite! no one can be certain that divorce isn’t in the cards, but i waited through my 20’s and my 30’s to discover who i am and grow my career and find a husband that was most compatible to me. by the time that happened, i was older than i wanted to be to start a family.
MAN, NO KIDS, WANT KIDS
the third woman – the one in her thirties – said that she had been married for over 10 years but couldn’t get pregnant. and she shared that her cousin called her that week to say that she was pregnant and “they weren’t even trying.” she said this as she choked back tears and pushed her hair out of her eyes.
it was such an honest conversation between women that had just met. we were simply stating our situation – not making any claims or judging each other for their decisions or feeling any regrets. just stating what is. we talked about how rude people can be when talking about kids and asking about kids and pushing their thoughts on to your lifestyle.
made me think how many times people quickly jump to conclusions about someone else’s life.
it’s all about the choices that you make. you are where you are because of the choices you made and because it is where God thought you could handle it. yes, there are things that happen to you that you couldn’t control – things that you wouldn’t choose. but you control how you react to them and you choose where to go from there.
what this conversation also taught me was to dig deeper. you don’t know the whole story on people so don’t be so harsh on them.
one of my biggest pet peeves is PEOPLE magazine and magazines like that. giving the “people” the scoop on celebrities. you probably don’t know them and you’re going to judge them on the small snippet of true or not true information you’re given. oh wait. people do that now with everything. not just gossip mags but news articles, facebook – everything! give their quick reaction or judgement call on just a snippet of information.
michael hyatt, one of my favorite author and speakers says this about being slow to judge.