Stopping the Drive to Betterment

There is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.  My drive for constant betterment has got me down.  I don’t know if I’ll ever achieve my “peak state.”

Is it depressing to say that?  Am I giving up?  No.  But I’m going to press pause for a season.

Why, you ask?

I think it is encroaching on my ability to appreciate things the way they are right now.  Today.  After all, I am The Appreciator.  And because my focus is on achieving big, big goals, it’s become so all-encompassing, it’s frustrating that I’m not reaching them.  And then I let myself down.

Am I the only one who thinks this way?  <sigh>

I certainly appreciate my drive.  My drive to be the best I can possibly be.  I can’t imagine life being content.  To be being content, to me, is the same as being apathetic.**

Maybe I should give you a better idea of what I’m talking about.  If you’ve made it this far reading this, you might be scratching your head and wondering what the hell-o I’m even talking about.  And then there will be those that I grabbed at my headline who know exactly what i’m talking about.  Here we go…

It is engrained in me to strive to be the best I can be.  In case you were wondering, I’m not even close.  I’m obsessed with reading about how others achieve their peak performance and how I could do the same.  On one hand, this is healthy.  I plowed through my career like a racehorse – always wanting to learn more, to be first, to grow, teach, mentor and lead.  This trait is what gets me up at 4:40am every day and follow a routine that includes scouring thousands of blogs, reading my devotional and reading this book, this book and sometimes this one.  It is what makes me listen to this in the car and this and especially this.  I don’t like to watch television or go to many movies because it would take up too much space in my head where this other stuff lives.  That’s the truth.

On the other hand, being a deep thinker and striving for betterment constantly, I’ve decided, sometimes is depressing.  Instead of focusing on what I have and being in the moment, I’m just focused on what I’m not achieving.  And I know that is not the purpose of attaining your peak state.  I get that.  But that’s where I am.

I’ve kind of worked through my problem. There are 3 things I’m going to do to be encouraged to be my best vs frustrated and drained by defeat.

1. Define What Success Looks Like To Me. I read somewhere that the pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time. Maybe that is what I’m doing … reading about others success without defining what success looks like to me.

2. Action vs Thoughts. Come up with a daily action plan that becomes my new routine. In my frustration I’ve resorted to a bit of mind-numbing activities like flipping through IG too much or throwing back a few sav blancs on the weekend or fixing grilled cheese at 1am (doing that now!)

3. Get Inspired. I need to be inspired. I’ve spent my career encouraging and motivating others but have reached a point where I need to be lifted up. I’m inspired by big ideas, big solutions, innovative marketing, and making a difference. This is where my focus needs to be. Going to seek out those people who are doing this. I want to be surrounded by those people.

Wish me luck!

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